Addiction...what to do?

ADDICTION...what does this word make you think of?  Do you think of the person that is a chain smoker, one that is a drunkard in the gutters/sleeping under bridges, the drug addict that lives for the next "high", etc...  I suppose each of us have a vision that comes to our mind when we think of this word, based on our own experiences/perspectives in life.  I have spent the last year dealing with addiction of various types.  Even my own.  Yes, there, I said it.  I am an addict.  I am a "food" addict.  I am an emotional eater.  I would like to share some thoughts about addiction and my experience with it-both directly and indirectly-during the last year.

I believe in starting with myself and owning up to my own shortcomings before evaluating/considering others behavior.  I have always struggled with emotional eating.  Whether the times are "good" or times are "bad"...I eat.  It is a real struggle.  Something I "thought" I had conquered-a stronghold that I believed that I had overcome once and for all.  Until last year when my Daddy passed away, my husband retired, my children were spreading there wings, my sister was given a devastating diagnosis, my aunt decided to contest my Daddy's will, my brother returned to drugs and the path of destruction that brings, etc...  It all got to be TOO much...TOO overwhelming for me.  I slipped into old patterns-was no longer consciously aware of the food that I was eating, no longer exercising-daily-for health, just plain "going through the motions" of life concerning food and exercise.  Something that a food addict can NEVER do!!!  However, I confess this here so that I can be given support/encouragement/accountability from my friends and family that love/value our relationship.  I know that I can win this...I can overcome, AGAIN.  I will forever be in "recovery" from food addiction and can never let my guard down.  Because as with ANY addiction, I can assure you that it is when the "big things" in life pop up that you are the most vulnerable.  That's when I was really tested.  I was reminded and taken back to when my Mom passed away, nearly 15 years ago.  My initial response to grief/losing my Mom was "life is short, I'm going to enjoy myself and eat what I want, etc..."  You see, my Mom died from a complication from a weight loss surgery.  Initially, this made me feel like, "what's the point, Mom tried to do something to help her physical condition and she lost her life".  Over time and as the grieving process finished its course-I realized that quite the opposite was true.  I wanted to AVOID being faced with a weight loss surgery being my only option.  I wanted to take care of my body so I wouldn't lose my life the way that my Mom did.  So, I began a journey that involved daily walks, went to Weight Watchers, etc...and did very well for about a year.  Then another "big" change came-a move across the world to England, the stun of the loss disappeared and I stopped "paying attention" to my eating/exercise habits.  Fast forward to the beginning of 2014...I had gained a significant amount of weight and had watched my Daddy's health decline because of his obesity.  I decided that I MUST take control of my physical health.  I must return to taking care of this temple that God so graciously gave me to live in.  I began using Shakeology, every day (still do) to help manage my constipation issue that causes me to hang on to weight.  I started thinking about "retirement" and living in a small community with little options for exercise.  So, I became a Team Beachbody Coach and began sharing my transformation with everyone, online.  Many followed my journey.  The weight was coming off, I was eating healthier than ever before, I felt AMAZING.  Then fast forward to  losing my Dad in January of '15.  This set off a series of negative events and MAJOR life changes that totally disrupted the good habits I had formed.  The storm was upon me and I didn't weather it well.  So, here I am, today, looking at myself-once again-through the lens of an emotional eating food addict.  The stronghold that I believed I had overcome, the motivation of my parent's losses due to health factors...none of them were "enough" to keep me on track.  What have I learned from this?  Simply one thing.  Every day is a new beginning, no matter WHAT my past.  I must forget the past and press forward...again and again...until it sticks!!!!  I pray that this time is the last.  Do I know that it will be, NO.  Addicts (of any type) are never "CURED", they are merely always recovering.  So, I ask that all of my readers would pray for me as I earnestly strive to, once again, get back on the healthy lifestyle track.  I have all of the tools, I know what to do, I have SUCCEEDED in the past and I can succeed again.  I earnestly covet your prayers and positive feedback as I begin this journey, again.

I mentioned a few addictions that I've "observed" in the last year.  One of the addictions is merely the addiction to be involved in others affairs...being a busy body.  I've learned that there are some that actually thrive on the attention that comes from "stirring up the pot, stirring discord, causing trouble". Many are easily deceived by these people-they see them as "caring", just trying to do "right a wrong", "make others accountable", etc...  But truly, it is all about the attention they gain and their great "want" to be in control.  Control is an addiction that is also seen through obsessions of various types.  My Mom was a wonderful woman with amazing traits-many of which live on through me and that I am proud to emulate.  However, my Mom had an internal "drive" to maintain a perfect home environment at all times.  We even "jokingly" called her, "the bleach queen" because when she passed, every single item of clothing she owned had a bleach spot on it, somewhere, because she was incessantly cleaning her house to total perfection.  It was an obsession she had.  No doubt, my Mom felt that she was in control of her living space-but truth is-it controlled HER!  This was a struggle for her.  Control has been a struggle for me in other areas of my life at different times.  The point is this...no matter how good of a deed we think we are doing when we get involved in other people's matters (speaking merely of those that do NOT concern us, directly), we all need to learn to stay out of other people's business.  If we are truly concerned about the direction someone is taking in their life-then why don't we have enough love to go DIRECTLY to that person, and that person ALONE, to talk with them about it.  Giving them the opportunity to explain why they have chosen the path that they have.  This is what real love does-it does NOT broadcast on social media, at family gatherings, etc...the perceived "wrongs" another has done.  This is a biblical principle...we are SUPPOSED to help a brother overtaken in a fault.  BUT, there are guidelines for how to do it.  Talking to everyone else about it EXCEPT the person it involves...is sinful...just plain wrong.

Finally, the addiction that has affected my life (from outside source) the most in the last year has been illegal drugs.  I have "suffered" greatly, at the hands of drug addicted family members.  My heart has been broken, over and again, because they have chosen drugs over relationship.  There is no rationalizing with a drug addict.  Until THEY want to recover, they will not.  They will lie, manipulate, squander, defame, curse, etc...you and anyone who gets in the way of their next "fix". For me, I had to withdraw myself from these toxic family members.  Not because I DON'T care and DON'T love them...but because I do.  I cannot and will not participate in "enabling" them.  I cannot allow their toxic nature/ways to infiltrate my life and the good that I am trying to do for others.  I am needed/wanted where I live-in my own community.  I need to be the best wife, mother, sister, sister-in-Christ, PAT educator, aunt, neighbor, etc...that I can be.  If I continue to allow these drug addicts to "get in my head" because I care too much...then I am enabling them and harming myself.  I cannot give them that power.  So, for now-I pray, earnestly, that others that are around them day in/out will allow them to "fall", quit enabling, and help them realize their need for recovery.  Until that time, I go on with my life.  Living it's purpose, trying to glorify God, and moving forward...not becoming stuck-because I certainly KNOW that we do NOT control another human being.  On good days-we barely control ourselves!

I pray that this post is helpful to someone that is struggling with addiction or a family member that is an addict.  Truly, we probably ALL have some type of addiction-something that "controls" us more than it should.  The reality is that this is why we need the Lord to be THE Master of our life.  Whether it's too much time watching TV, going to sports games, pornography, recreation time, video games, food, drugs, work, etc...ANYTHING that has an "unhealthy" grip on you that you do not bring under subjection...it is an addiction.  The difference in various addictions is simply this...some addictions can be lifelong struggles that harm little to no one but ourselves-others are illegal, a drain on family/relationships, drain all of our financial resources, etc...  Let's be sure that we are all striving to tame whatever "demons" that live within us...always on the road to recovery on this journey called "life".  Remember, if you follow Christ in a life lived in obedience to Him/His principles-you WILL overcome.  Perhaps you will struggle each day and have to "buffet your body" just as Paul did-but you will NOT willfully live "in the sin of addiction"...instead you will strive to do better/overcome so that you can glorify Him in all that He created you to be. In the end, if you follow Christ in obedience, YOU WIN!!!!  You will never be subject to addiction, again, but will live in eternal bliss around others that have obeyed/lived faithfully to the end.  Praise God for such a blessed hope.

Life can be HARD

As a person that considers herself an optimist/encourager/friend...in recent days I find myself struggling.  There are many reasons for this, not all of which I want to speak directly about here on this forum. However, I find blogging to be therapeutic, so I am going to use this to express a myriad of feelings, thoughts, etc...that I've had recently about a variety of things.

As the title says, life can be HARD!  I know that many of you know this-you are aware because you've had/are having experiences in your life this very minute that are difficult.  I have gone through more "big" changes in this last year than my entire lifespan prior to that.  There is a "scale" out there that counselors/psychiatrists use to calculate your lifespan based on various factors of change within your life. Even if the "change" is a "good" change, it still adds a layer of stress to your life, which is known to decrease one's lifespan.  My life from November 2014-November 2015 is almost unrecognizable.  I could go on and on about each of the changes-but I won't-because it isn't profitable.  Instead, I will hit the highlights and move forward with purging my soul.

In 1 years time, I have faced 31 days in the hospital with my Daddy who was dying.  He was leaving this world and I was left with some very difficult decisions to make "for him" in his final days/hours. I spent another month, away from my family, trying to handle immediate business for my Dad's estate, following his passing. I returned home to AZ, desperately needing to purge my house and prepare it for my husband's upcoming 30 year retirement/our FINAL move across the country to our new "empty nest" home. I attended/participated in many goodbye celebrations for my husband's retirement, leaving our beloved church family in AZ, leaving behind my children, etc... I left an adult daughter, behind, in AZ-in the hands of our loving Christian family-but for the first time, she was completely "set free" and independent.  I left my other "emerging" adult daughter behind, for a short time-then went to help her move across the country to complete her college experience at the college of her choice.  I adjusted to life in a 240 sq ft living space in our travel trailer, with just my husband/I again. I helped my husband "project/finance" manage the building of our retirement house (still in process).  I have handled disgruntled extended family members in the handling of my Dad's estate.  I've dealt with the law/court system in handling my Dad's estate.  I've been hated/despised by many of my own extended family-even to the point of the contesting of my handling my Dad's estate. I have continued to deal with my only biological brother's, drug addiction problem, and all of the many issues that come with that. I have tried to expedite/help financially and emotionally, with my Aunts and 2 younger (mentally disabled) brothers move out of my Dad's house into their own respective places as they begin living their lives/adjusting to life without my Daddy.  I was made "consciously" aware that my Daddy was not my biological father.  Something that apparently I was made aware of, early in my life, but hid somewhere VERY deep.  I am a middle aged woman with the physical woes that come with this time in life-I'm sure ALL 50ish year old women know/understand EXACTLY what I'm talking about! I have a new job-a program that had to be "launched" (built from the ground up) in this small community because it had not been properly carried out for a number of years and the poor reputation of the program had to be overcome.  I went through MANY hours of training, many hours of recruiting, many hours of adjusting to being a "lone ranger" and working this program solo, many hours adjusting to working in a small community school, etc... I'm adjusting to a new church family-a small one that I will work with for the remainder of my years one this earth.  I'm adjusting to a new community/new friends.  Trying to find my "place" here and get to know as many people as possible so that I can be an asset here.  I've finally gotten to be the "pseudo" grandparent for my nieces that they deserve and the sister that is "involved" and "active" in my sister's family life-not just a support from a distance. So, yep, lots of changes.  Certainly not all of them are "bad".  Not at ALL...many of them have been true blessings to my heart-even those that have been "hard", I am learning a LOT of life lessons from and growing from.  But in it all-I see the hand of God.

Yes, the hand of God.  That which I always look for because He is the center of my world.  Whatever is going on in my life, I am always looking for God.  Where is He, what opportunities is He offering me, am I missing an opportunity to grow/learn, etc...?  The one thing that this past year has taught me is that life can be VERY hard...it is always changing.  But, this life is not meant to be easy.  If it were easy, would I long for Heaven?  Would I long to be with the Savior and strive to live my life, daily, for Him-if everything was wonderful/easy? All of it makes me LONG for Heaven, to cry out, "Come, Lord Jesus"...it just frankly gets OLD!  I get tired, weary, and discouraged when it's hard.  But then comes the refreshing of the Lord's Spirit.  Oh, how wonderful and true He is to His promises.  He sends the Comforter.  The One that will see me through EVERY valley of hard along this life's journey in this world.  He reminds me of EVERY valley He's carried me through in the past...and there have been a LOT of them.  I am reminded that not only will I survive, I WILL triumph!!!  How do I know this?  Because I am a child of the King!  I belong to Him, I have been washed in the blood of the Lamb.  I may have difficult days while living in this sin filled world-but I know the end and GOD WINS!!!!  Hallelujah...praise Him-Jesus triumphed over the grave and because of that...so will I!!!  I will be with God and all of the faithful for all of eternity...no more sorrow, no more tears, etc...just praising God and surrounding His throne with the faithful remnant that have gone on before me.  Satan will be FOREVER locked up...no longer allowed to roam and cause me hurt/pain.  That's WHY this world is hard, because Satan is roaming about seeking who he may devour.  But, he will NOT have me...I cannot control who he can/will have...all I can do is encourage everyone that I meet to seriously consider who they give their allegiance to...God or Satan.  I DO determine which path I choose and I choose God.  I want to be on the winning side!  This is THE story...the most important event of all history...and I KNOW the ending....GOD WINS.  I am going to do everything that I can to make sure I'm on the winning team by obeying Him!

Due to my positive/optimistic nature, I can't end a post merely looking to the future.  I "keep my eyes on the goal", but live my life, here and now, the best that I can.  One of the ways that I do that is simple...NOT easy to do...but simple.  I have JOY.  Even in the middle of all of the discouraging/disappointing/heartbreaking events that may come my way...I am reminded that the "joy of the Lord is my strength".  I am blessed.  I cannot insult God by not appreciating/recognizing all that He's ALREADY done for me!  Not just in the promise of eternity-but in this life-right NOW!  Here are some things that I can have infinite JOY in from some of the life changes that I've encountered in the last year.  The blessing of having 2 grown adult daughters that fear and love the Lord.  They do not live their lives in sinless perfection, they make mistakes, but truly-their hearts/live are FOR God and there is no greater gift that could be given to my heart than to "know my children walk in truth".  The blessing of having wonderful childhood memories with my parents and at the end of their respective lives-having a loving/caring "adult" relationship with them.  That is a gift that NO ONE can take from me...not even disgruntled family members.  I may not "know" my earthly father-but I CERTAINLY had the blessing of having a LOVING earthly Daddy that took care of me/loved me as his own...what a blessing that is!  The blessing of loving church family...truly, God's provision through His children is far beyond any earthly relationship.  The local congregation is a lifeline for me in this world and I'm so thankful.  The new "job" and "friendships" I am making in our local community...it has been more amazing than I could ever have imagined.  We have been welcomed with open arms and it is EASY to see why my sister has enjoyed living/working in this small place. The blessing of a "shelter" a place to call home-it is NOT the walls of a house that make a home-it's the loving/caring relationships that abide within the "shelter" that make it home.  Even in the middle of building a "house", I already have a home!  A home that has been expanded in love by the blessing of being in my sister/her family's life each and every day-living in the same community!  A dream that I've had for almost 3 years now...from the day we purchased the 4 acres here in our small retirement community. From that day, I began to imagine my sister/I living in the same community, being "pseudo" grandma to her girls, just enjoying every day life, growing old together, just appreciating every simple memory we have the pleasure of making together.  Though I don't know what the future holds...I do know that the present cannot be taken away!  Money doesn't matter, houses don't matter, relationships do!  My greatest joy has come through my husband. Truly, how many can say that their husband has built them a HOUSE!  He works SO hard, every day, one project at a time, trying to complete the shelter that will become our lifetime "home".  A place that I intend to feel FULL of love and memories with those new "friends" in our local community, God's family that He's provided us with here, any of our physical/extended family members that choose to be in our lives/love us, a place for our "grown" daughters to return to/find peace and comfort from the trials of the world, and finally a place to blossom some of those beautiful memories with my sister's family that I've longed to be with for the last several years. My husband is the MOST AMAZING support...he has been through each and every valley with me.  He has listened, patiently, to my concerns/my heart as the pressures of life have mounted over the last year.  He has continued to LOVE me, despite my inability to give back to him the way that he truly deserves.  You see, my husband has had some of the same stressors...but in my selfishness, I have not always recognized that.  He lost my Daddy too.  He has to "deal with" my disgruntled family too.  He had a MAJOR life change after 30 years of military service.  We've walked this journey, together, and I truly appreciate/respect/honor him for all that he is to me/for me.  I don't deserve it...truly, he could do much better and deserves much more than I give.  Again, God has provided/blessed.

I will end this by saying...I pray for eyes to see what is right in front of me.  Yes, life can be hard/life IS hard.  I choose this day to continue serving the Lord.  That one decision will resolve "all" things that are hard.  He will provide, "exceedingly/abundantly above all that I can think/ask".  He already has.

FAMILY...what does it mean to you?

It has been several months since I wrote in this blog. The last blog I wrote was about "love".  I would like to extend the idea of love and how it relates to "family".  I have had many life situations that have recently caused me to consider who I really consider my "family".   You see, family means something different to everyone.  For some, family is ONLY those that share the same genetic pool.  For others, family are those that live in their house.  Truly, it does mean something different to almost everyone I've ever met.  Consider this thought-being military kids, my daughters were often asked "where are you from?"  For a military kid that has lived all over the world, that is a difficult question to answer because truly, there is NOT any one answer that is completely accurate.  For our girls, they were "born" in different places, lived in different places, but unlike my husband/I...never had a place that they were "from".  So, they called "home" wherever our family was together at the time.  Home wasn't a place, location, or house, it truly was a feeling.  A "feeling" that we shared as a nuclear family of 4 wherever we happened to live at the time.

Extend this idea to the idea of "family" and what that means.  When someone asks me who my family is, I can tell them about my "physical" blood related family-whether we are talking my childhood relations or my "nuclear" adult family relations.   I can also choose to tell them about my "spiritual" family-which I am related to through the blood of Jesus Christ.  We are "born" of the same Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  I could also choose to tell them of dear friends that I've been blessed to meet/know/spend time with along life's journey wherever the AF took us for 27 1/2 years.  You see, regardless of the origin of the family I may talk with you about-there are characteristics that make them the same.  Truly, "physical" blood relation means little to me.  At one time in the history of God's people, this was a very important trait-but Jesus came and done away with all of that-adopting ALL that obey Him into His bloodline today.  Therefore, my physical origins, alone, are of little meaning to me.  It's the "relationships" that happen within the physical origins that make them important and have meaning.  Without the relationship, WHAT does blood mean????  This is true whether we are talking about physical or spiritual relatives...blood without relationship means nothing!  I realize that everyone has different experiences in life-some never "leave" the area they are born/raised in...whether by choice or necessity.  They remain in the same area where the relationships with physical blood relatives are and may have very little opportunity to have any "other" type of family relationship.  However, even in those instances-it truly is a "choice" that one makes.  Just because you are raised in a particular physical family situation, does not mean you have to remain "active" and engaged in it if the relationships are not present or are unhealthy. You CAN choose to "find" family elsewhere...those that will love you, spend time with you, make time for you, think the best of you, come to you when they hear something questionable about you, etc...  The bible speaks to this idea many times-particularly with regards to the "company" we keep-"evil companions corrupt good morals"...yes, sometimes that even refers to our physical families.  Sad, but true.  

Never has the idea of "family" been more true to me than in recent months.  You see, I now have lost both of my parents.  If I were a person that saw family as "only"physical relationships, I would be very lost in this world-a wandering "orphan" as it were.  Yes, I have siblings-but the relationships are complicated for a variety of reasons...some of which can be changed, some that cannot.  Do I love my siblings?...absolutely.  I care for their well-being, do my best to make sure they're cared for, and pray the best for them all.  However, the "relationships" we share are weak at best.  With one bright shining exception-my sister-my ONLY sister.  It should be noted here that this sister is NO blood relation to me whatsoever!  We do not share the same genetics at ALL.  We don't even share "childhood" experiences.  I am the age of her biological mother.  My husband/I have chosen to live in the same community as my sister/her family.  You may wonder WHAT is it that makes this sister so different if we don't share any of the factors I mentioned...simply put..."relationship".  We understand one another, we MAKE time for one another, we are interested in one another's well being, we both feel the "loss" of our parents...it doesn't matter if the parents were HER blood or not...they were the parents of her heart-just as they were mine!  The loss is great, it's significant, it's painful, it's hurtful...but praise God it's also a beautiful reminder of how blessed we were to have OUR parents in our lives.  Even at different times/stages of our parents lives and even though we weren't raised together-we both feel incredibly blessed by the "experiences" and "relationships" that we were blessed to share with our parents.  Despite the lack of depth in relationship with the other siblings...we "get it" and we "relate" to one another.  I feel incredibly blessed when I look at the timing of all the things that have occurred in my life/my sister's life...both things we have shared together and things we've experienced, separately, in our individual lives.  I see God's hand leading us to where we are today.  Together, living in the same town, having developed a loving relationship and "invested" in one another through the last 17 years that we've been in one another's lives.  Now, we continue to reap our harvest on a regular basis through meals together, playing family games, enjoying holidays, sharing ideas, thoughts, etc...  I'm so thankful that "family" means more than genetics.

Over 27 1/2 years of being a military spouse, I definitely learned to appreciate "spiritual" family most of all.  They were the ones that were "in" my life day in/day out.  I wasn't able to be "present" for most of my physical family members events-it just was not physically possible.  This is why my spiritual family became so VERY important to me.  They were my "support" system day in/out.  They were who we spent holidays with, camped with, cried with, prayed with, worshipped with....just did "day to day" life with.  I am blessed to say that even in retirement, we have an amazing spiritual family that we "do live with" here in our community.  Even though my husband/I are physically separated from our girls at this point in our lives-we are ALL 4 blessed to have "family" in the respective places that we currently live.  We all appreciate the "family" that is there for us-day in/day out.  We are not "jealous" of the family that we "share" our girls with...we are happy for them and pleased that others are being blessed to enjoy our girls as much as we did.  I feel blessed to know that even when others in my family of origin didn't understand/appreciate that I had "family" in the place I was living at the time-my Daddy always did.  That's one of the things I miss the most-his loving support and encouragement to enjoy my time wherever I was living, experience as much as I could, etc... He understood that I had my life to lead and that it was "different" than the life he had chosen.  He supported me and always asked me lots of great questions about the "family" where we were living.  He was not "jealous" that my girls had "grandparents" in Arizona.  He knew about Donna/Bruce and was happy that the girls had them in their lives.  Of course he would have LOVED to have been able to be that grandparent for them-but time/distance/his health did not allow for that and he "loved" my girls, therefore, he wanted the best for them whatever their situation was in life.  You see, my Daddy understood "blood" didn't matter...relationships did!  I have my Daddy to "thank" for that belief system that I hold so dear to my heart today.  You see, my Daddy only actually "fathered" one child, but he was a Daddy to 7 children that he "chose".  He didn't "legally" adopt 2 of them...but he would tell you that they were HIS kids...he was THEIR Daddy...all 7 of them!  That's how I feel about my nieces.  I feel like a grandmother...not an "aunt".  The relationship is indicative of a grandparent-they call me aunt Vicki, but I love them as though their mother came from me because the "relationship" that my sister/I share is very mother/daughter like.  Perhaps it's the age difference.  Perhaps it's the fact that we lost Mom when she was still a teenager.  Whatever it is...it's good and healthy-one that I'm thankful for each and every day.  Daddy lives on...through me and all that he taught me about what "family" means through his own example/life.  I am treasuring each and every moment with his grandchildren-who are now MY grandchildren:)  Donna/Bruce are treasuring each/every moment with his grandchildren-who are now THEIR grandchildren:) I know he would smile about it....he would be happy for all of us-that our lives have gone on and his legacy of "family" never dies.  Isn't it beautiful to know that family is not just about genetics...my life, comparatively, would be very empty if it were.  I'm thankful for understanding that relationships are the main thing...they are what matters.  How many "family" members do you have?  Praise God, I can say that I have MANY and my cup runneth over. Oh, this great thing we call, "family".  Thank you God for providing me with the opportunity to have healthy loving relationships with so many others that even though my genetic family may forsake me, my "real" family never will.

WHAT IS LOVE?

The above question brings up many feelings and emotions in many people.  This being the month of "love", I thought I might explore this question with my readers.  The simplest definition I can give for love, is God.  Very simply put, the Creator of all the universe-each and every human being as well as the stars, etc...He is the author of love because He is LOVE.  His holy word says so-so I believe that to be true.

This brings me to the next obvious question-what, specifically, can we know/read about God (through His own word) that can give us a deeper description/example of love through knowing Him-the author/Creator of love?  We can know that we all have the ability to love, it is God given.  However, so is free will.  We "choose" whether we want to love someone or whether we are willing to invest in the process of learning to love.  Being created in the image of God-we can know that we are capable of loving others.

Is love always easy...absolutely not.  As a matter of fact-God proves over and again that love can be very difficult and bring a lot of pain.  Things that we do not care about do not cause us pain-only things that mean something to us can cause us pain.  God demonstrated His love to us in sending His only Son to a cruel death on the cross on our behalf.  This was an extremely painful moment to God.  WHY? Because He loves us!  Not only did He love His Son, but He loved us enough to sacrifice His Son on our behalf.  No, love is not always easy-sometimes it even brings great sacrifice-in Christ's case-His death.

How do we know when we love someone?  When we are willing to do the "hard" thing-the thing that is selfless and considers another's well being over our own.  In I Corinthians 13 we are reminded that love requires a lot of things.  Love "expects the best".  So, if I truly love someone, I will expect the best of them.  This means that I will go to them, individually, and talk with them when "something doesn't seem to add up" in our minds with what we believe/understand to be that person's character. Love does not mean being stupid and naive...it means being aware of a person's character when they, generally, are a particular way and we see something "different" in them that doesn't seem to add up to the fruits that they normally bear (you shall know them by their fruits).  Love "does not keep account" of a wrong suffered.  If I truly love someone, I will do my best to remember that we are ALL sinners and fall short of the glory of God.  I will give that person, mercy and grace, remembering that I, too, may need the same in the future.  Again, it doesn't mean we must be foolish in our decisions to "trust" others.  If a person has proved himself untrustworthy-they need to know that there is a consequence for their action even if I "forgive" them and continue to love them.  Love is kind...whoa, couldn't we use more of that in our world.  Genuine caring for others that doesn't malign, slander, gossip...instead goes directly to a person, and that person alone, with a concern/question in a humble/kind manner instead of demanding/hateful/malicious manner-this is the instructions that Jesus gave His followers in Matthew 18.  Love is not envious or jealous.  Do you find it possible to be happy for others when they receive some gift, kindness, goodness and you do not?  Or do you find yourself jealous that your life isn't as calm/peaceful and well balanced as someone else?  These are all of the types of questions we need to ask ourselves from time to time.  This is the way we discover if we are growing envious/jealous.  Jealousy can eat you from the inside out.  True love is grateful/thankful/joyful when others experience blessings in their lives.  Even if we would like our own circumstances to be different, we can still learn to rejoice with those that rejoice and not grow envious/jealous.  Love is patient-aren't we glad that's true!  God demonstrates GREAT patience and longsuffering with us each and every day simply by not coming to destroy the entire world that is sin ridden.  Instead, His desire is that no one will perish and He waits-patiently-though the world maligns/blasphemes His name.  Love is not rude.  Being rude comes in all forms/fashions and varies in different cultures/circumstances.  Sometimes it is impossible to know what may be considered "rude" in particular situations, because in other places it is actually considered a compliment.  A "small" example would be that in America, we consider it "rude" to belch at the table.  In many other countries it is actually considered a sign of great hospitality/appreciation for a good meal.  So, we need to be aware of/willing to learn about different places we may go/visit and confess to others when we didn't realize we were engaging in a particular oversight/rude behavior because this is not a "universal" understanding..it varies from location to location.  This is where some of the other qualities of love come into play.  If we feel that someone has been rude because of the norms in our particular location-we need to show love to them and go to them, kindly, and explain the concern/way things are done in a particular location.  Real love would not go and talk about them behind their backs-instead it would go to them-kindly-to talk with them about it.  Love also does not insist in having its own way.  Just because we may feel entitled to something, does not make it so.  Real love would respect the wishes of the person giving the entitlement to whomever they choose-not insist on having it their own way.  Love doesn't rejoice in injustice/unrighteousness. No matter the circumstance-we must always remember to stand up for/do the right things while never finding "joy" in another's undeserved downfall (injustice).  Love bears up under everything-it does whatever needs to be done and remains steady in the storm.  Love endures everything and remains very strong-determined to not allow others/any circumstance to take away the joy.

Truly loving others is the most difficult thing we will ever do.  This is why God is the definition of love.  God is love.  He is ALL of the above things in ALL circumstances-always has been/always will be.  He is the perfect One, the One we should strive to imitate in our own lives each and every day.  Sometimes we fail at loving the way that we should-this is why we are in need of a Savior. The Savior, Jesus Christ, to bridge the gap-the PERFECT one to bridge the gap between our weakness and God's strength. One that will bring us back into relationship with God-the God who loves us, the God who created us, the One and Only Jehovah God-that is the definition of love.  Something to think about today.

POSITIVE-NOT REAL/VULNERABLE????

As most of my readers know, I began my journey as a Team Beachbody Coach in early June.  I didn't really begin launching this until about end of the month of June due to a lot of basics I need to learn about Coaching, how I needed to proceed with helping others, etc...

The last few months have been very enlightening to me on many fronts. Here are some of the things I am learning about people.  I am amazed how so many friends/people don't even "respond" to personal messages that I send them about helping them with their health/fitness goals.  If I am taking the time to send you a personal message, you can rest assured it is because I value you, love you, and want to help ANY/ALL of my friends/loved ones enjoy a healthier lifestyle.  Personally, I just find it rude not to respond.  I have responded to MANY inbox inquiries with a polite, "I'm not interested right now, but I appreciate you thinking of me".  I am totally ok with being told "not now".  I'm a big girl, I can handle it and I don't take it personally.  I really only want to help those that really are ready for it anyway-my time is a precious commodity and I appreciate just true honest feedback.  If you are ready to make a change-I can help you-it's that simple! If you're not, I'll move on and keep searching for someone that is ready/prepared to invest in their pursuit of a healthier lifestyle.  I'll keep sending those personal invitations because I've seen it change lives.

This leads me to my second observation, I am TOTALLY pumped by the progress that so many of my challengers/team members are making and the improvements that they share with me, daily.  I have run many different "styles" of challenge groups since I began this journey as a Team Beachbody coach.  I have helped people (not involved in my challenge groups)-just by helping them invest in their physical health through the daily use of a glass of nutrition in Shakeology.  Here are some "results" of changes I've seen in many of my challengers.  Innumerable pounds lost through feeding their bodies nutrition instead of toxic waste.  I've seen soft drink addiction KICKED.  I've seen sedentary lifestyles DEMOLISHED.  I've seen couch potatoes become EXTREMELY active and motivated to continue well after the challenge groups "end".  Almost daily, I receive a text, inbox message, or have a conversation with someone that has influenced SOMEONE ELSE to become a healthier person.  It's a "wave of healthy lifestyles".  You see, I am only 1 person and I can try to positively influence/encourage those I know, personally, to pursue a healthier lifestyle.  However, each of these people have a circle of influence that I do not have....so it's the ripple effect.  When others (outside my circle of influence) see THEIR friends (our mutual friend) making progress, changing habits, etc...it becomes an even wider circle of influence.  My goal is to END THE TREND of obesity.  With my friends help, we can do this one person at a time.  It IS working, the results are REAL, and it's VERY contagious:)  This is why I regularly ask for "referrals"-friends of my friends.  I want to help ANYONE and I mean ANYONE-no matter their age, ethnicity, physical challenges, health challenges, spiritual challenges, emotional challenges, etc...to really have the opportunity to have someone invest in them-FOR FREE-to help them understand/learn the habits that can help them live their dream life-whatever that is for them.

So, I've talked about the 2 extremes-those that just seem to be "crickets" when I talk to them, personally, and those that respond and TAKE THE LEAP of faith that their hearts desire in obtaining a healthier lifestyle.  The final thing I'd like to share actually deals with the title of this post.  I absolutely want to end the trend of obesity among those I love and those I may not even "know".  WHY?  Because our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Great Creator God.  I want each person to live a life that "glories" Him in their bodies that He so beautifully designed for them.  To be more productive in their lives, accomplishing more for Him/His glory, to be exactly the BEST self they can be for HIM!  I am a work in progress.  I have not/do not do this perfectly-even since becoming a Team Beachbody Coach.  However, does the fact that I try to remain positive in my encouragement/posts mean that I am being "dishonest", "not truthful", "not vulnerable" enough?  Does it mean that I think I'm "better" than others, have it all together, that it's unobtainable for someone else because I appear to "perfect" and it seems "easy"?  These are all things that I've heard from some of the naysayers since I've been on this journey.  I've heard every excuse imaginable, every accusation imaginable, etc... I've heard hundreds of explanations WHY this works for me but won't/can't work for someone else.  Hello-been there/done that folks!  I've used them all-"my family members are obese, I have a predisposition, it's harder for me to lose weight than others, I've tried health/nutrition shakes before-they don't work for me, I can't exercise on my own at home-I need others to be accountable, it's too expensive to eat healthy, I'm on a budget, I don't want to give up ____, I don't have time,  I suffer with depression, etc....  Ok folks, that's as real as it gets!  I've used them ALL at some time or another....to my shame, I even used the excuse, "God cares more about who I am than what I look like."  What a cop out!  Yes, of course God cares about my inner character-but isn't it true that He ALSO designed me to live in a physical body-one that He created JUST FOR ME.  My body is the temple of  the Holy Spirit.  Did I ever really "believe" that God didn't care what I ate, if I exercised, etc...of course not!  It was just a lie I told myself to help let myself off the hook.  A lie I told myself often enough that I began to BELIEVE IT!!!!  What does this have to do with being positive you may ask?  Folks, it is my JOB as a Team Beachbody Coach to encourage others to live a healthier lifestyle.  When I post an encouragement, it does NOT mean that I am doing all of the things I am posting about 100% of the time to 100% perfection!  It just means that I NEED accountability-friends to walk along side me to help me on the journey while I help them.  Just because I don't post EVERY SINGLE negative experience I have along this journey does NOT mean that I don't have them!  I've had them ALL...I've been on this journey to a healthier lifestyle for over 3 years...only as a Beachbody Coach for about 4 months.  There isn't much that I haven't seen, felt, experienced that you could mention that HASN"T happened to me.  Guess what-my story is NO different than yours-it's a journey, it's a struggle, it's DAILY-the only difference is that I put myself out there EVERY DAY so that I can receive feedback, accountability and motivation to continue the healthy lifestyle that I KNOW God wants us to lead.

I'm going to finish this by posting some of my "real" moments.  Anxious about fitting into an airline seat without seatbelt extension, anxious about "weight limit" for various activities I'd like to participate in (many are 250 pounds or under), ability to fit in an amusement park ride, "weight limit" for chairs/ladders I sit in/stand on, hiding/stashing food, going through drive through windows and discarding "evidence" before going home, "closet" eating, middle of night binge eating, ability to climb stairs to see a beautiful view, ability to "control" myself on a cruise when it comes to food intake, depression/crying hours because of my lack of self-control in food/exercise, injury from exercise,  etc...  The list could/does go on and on.  Really, isn't this "common" among the human experience?  My experience is no different than yours.  However, my job is one that I take seriously.  I want to motivate you, give you tools, and ENCOURAGE you to reach deeper, strive for the sky, reach out to God, etc...as you journey toward a healthier lifestyle.  I've spent ENOUGH of my life sharing my "woes" and why I can't do something to have a positive healthier lifestyle.  Instead, I will share with ANYONE/personally/one on one-my experience in any area of my life if it can benefit their particular situation.  In my humble opinion (which obviously differs from some others), a general post on social media-whether through my personal fb account, in a group posting, or on my Vicki Craft-Team Beachbody Coach fb page-should be positive/encouraging and that's how I intend to proceed.  The word of God says to "provoke one another to love and good works".  It is hard to provoke others to something "positive" with a negative post.  So, I will continue to just "be me"-my optimistic self-and just love people, share with people, and when they come to me, personally, and want to share THEIR story-if I've struggled with something similar-I'll share mine/my perspective.  Otherwise, don't expect my posts to show all of the "mess" in my life each and every day.  Doesn't mean my life isn't a mess, not pretending to be "perfect" and have it together-just believe that we live in a world that focuses way too much on the negative/junk/stuff that drags us down.  Instead, I choose to have an attitude of gratitude and look for the blessings.  So, that's me folks and that's my take on things...you can like it, you can disagree, but there's a "time and place for everything" as the writer of Ecclesiastes says.  I love to invest in "people/relationships" and it is there, that you will find the real/vulnerable me.  When you inquire about/desire to "invest" with me in the relationship that we can have together along this journey to a healthier lifestyle.  I just want to invest in people that want to share "life" with me.  But, I only share my "deep inner" life with those that desire the relationship with me-NOT the general public.  Hope my perspective helps someone today.

BEACHBODY JOURNEY BEGINS

As I sit here tonight, I realize that I haven't blogged in nearly a years time. I feel compelled to blog for many reasons at this time.  One of the reasons is simply because I have just begun my journey as a Team Beachbody Coach.  I went "public" with my own facebook community page.  I had no idea what I was doing. I am "way" behind the power curve with technology. Without my daughters help, I would not have been able to get the page up and running at all.  Next I hope to open up an instagram account and begin to photo document my "progress" in various Beachbody exercise programs as I work through them.  I will try not to repeat any of the info that you could learn by going to my fb community page here-instead I will use this blog to expound upon my personal reflections for choosing Team Beachbody as a part of my journey to better health. I have SO much to learn in order to make this journey a successful one-so much about Beachbody products, the websites, how to help people get products they are interested in, running online challenge groups, how to eventually run a fit club, etc...

I am becoming a coach, primarily, to help me be "accountable" to Beachbody workout programs and the nutrition that Shakeology offers. In doing so-I hope to, ultimately, serve the Lord more effectively/efficiently in this temple that He gave me to dwell in.  So, yes, you will hear a lot of God talk during this journey.  This is MUCH more than a physical journey for me-it is very spiritual.  It is dealing with a deeply planted stronghold in my life-obesity.  A stronghold that has held me hostage long enough.  A stronghold that is taking the very lives of my extended family members. I HATE it....I want to end it.  End this terrible trend of obesity that is causing so many problems, pain, and suffering for so many that I know and love.  I want to help any/everyone learn what is necessary to embrace a more simply abundant life of health/fitness.  A life that can help us fully embrace each and every day, living it to the fullest.

I intend to be "real" on this journey and sometimes real is tough to hear, process, obey, and follow. Sometimes "real" hits close to home, is humbling, is convicting, etc...  But, rest assured-"real" also focuses on the positive, the goodness of life, the progress, the important things, the blessings, NOT just the times that I may fail.  I believe it is important to "speak life" as TobyMac sings so wonderfully!  Give others HOPE that they can improve.  Provide someone to "walk along side" them as they journey through their own improvements in health. To be their "cheerleader".  That's what a coach is to me-a "cheerleader" that gives "instruction to the team".   I will keep it as real, upbeat, and positive as I can.  I will offer challenges, information, encouragement, all of the things that help us remember that we are WORTH fighting for.  We were so worth fighting for that Jesus died on the cross so that we could have forgiveness of sins if we obey Him.  This is why I seek to follow Him/glorify Him in all that I do. I have come to the understanding that for me-I am lacking in fully obeying the Lord in caring for my temple.  This is why this Beachbody journey is a "spiritual" one for me.  That's as "real" as it gets folks!

Family Calamity and Restoration

July 10th, 2013

It's hard to believe it's been over 5 months since I have blogged here. Truly, time just gets away from me anymore-but obviously there hasn't been anything majorly "pressing" on my heart or I would have shared here before now. Blogging is a source of release for me. A way to write my deepest heart thoughts and things on my mind-whether troubling things or joyful sharing. I choose to recognize God's presence in my life in both good and bad times-He is ever with me.

It is my lifestyle to begin my day with God's word in some way-sometimes it's through a reading of a daily Proverb, study that I am doing with a ladies class, a personal study with a friend, a devotional thought online, or even watching a video session with a bible teacher that teaches to my learning style. This week, I have been watching Beth Moore's video series on "Family Calamity and Restoration".  As I watched the final one, I was struck by a story she shared that was SO powerful and so very relevant to my own life/the life of those that I love. I felt compelled to share the highlights of the series and wrap it up with the lesson I feel needs to be shared with others.

In this series, she talks about how families (whether physical or spiritual) face some very hard times because the enemy (Satan) is always lurking about to destroy us. As the series progresses, she begins to explain how important it is for just ONE person to change the direction of the calamity so that it is headed in the direction of restoration. The particular story that she shared to illustrate this was about her husband's family. When he was a young boy (2 yrs), his "older" brother (then 3 yrs) and he were playing in the garage and the brother dumped a gas can into the floor and the flame from the hot water heater caused an explosion which ultimately took the life of his younger brother. She spoke of YEARS of his family grappling with the grief/loss/what they might have done to prevent it, what they could learn from it, etc... all things that come through the healing process of grief. She also shared that one of her husband's sisters now has a grown son that just completed fireman training and is going to be a fireman. She said that she found it so interesting that as PROUD of him as everyone was, NO ONE seemed to "get" the connection between the loss of a family member to a fire and now ANOTHER family member is going to make it his life's occupation to save others from fire.  This struck me in a powerful way. It brought up SO many things that I feel apply in my own life/the life of those I love.

I am very open about the tragedy my own family experienced in the loss of my mother. My mother lost her life due to a post weight loss surgery complication. 12 years later, there are still questions that crowd my mind, from time to time, about all of the circumstances that surrounded my Mom's death. They certainly don't "consume" me in anyway-because even if I knew all of the "answers" it wouldn't change the outcome. However, I am a person that seeks wisdom. I believe that wisdom is learning from "others" situations-both good and bad. I learned a LOT when I lost my Mom-there is not enough blogging space in the world to type all the things that one tragedy taught me. But, today, while I was watching that video, it struck me that I am not the only one that has learned a LOT from that tragedy or had their life affected in some powerful way.  I would like to share what I believe is part of the "restoration" of my family through this tragedy.

My daughter, Rebecca, has been "home" with us here in Arizona this summer working an internship at a fitness center, part of the requirement she has to graduate from college next May with a degree in Exercise Science (nutrition/exercise degree). She has had an amazing journey during this internship-she has developed/taught pilates and stability ball workouts/classes. Her boss has given her some amazing advice about how to accomplish the goals she has for getting various certifications in the fitness field when she graduates next year. Her boss has been "inspired/encouraged" by my daughter's abilities/desires/passion for health and nutrition.  Her boss has told her time/again how she is DEFINITELY well suited for the field of exercise/nutrition and my daughter has impressed her with her knowledge/willingness to learn as much as she can.  I have attended Rebecca's classes-WOW, she is quite the instructor! She is truly dedicated/committed to health/exercise and so incredibly self disciplined/motivating to others.  I am so very happy for her, that she has "found" something that she is passionate about. However, I believe it is highly possible that she did not just "find" this career path, but that she is on this path that God had planned for her to be the ONE that turns our family calamity into restoration.  She is taking a strength/passion that God has given her and is using it to help encourage/improve others lifestyles so that they can be healthy.  You may be wondering "how" does this all tie together?

It's interesting-a few weeks back, Rebecca and I were talking about grandparents and she said she doesn't really remember my Mom. The conversation began because a dear friend of ours lost his Dad and his daughter (who is the age now that Rebecca was when my Mom passed) gave a speech at the memorial service. I was telling Rebecca about how important grandparents are and how I've lost both of my Grandma's in the last year. I found it so fascinating that Rebecca did not remember my Mom, because she was 7 (nearly 8) when my Mom passed away. However, she VERY much remembers the way that my Mom's death has affected "her" Mom (me) and those in our family. She continues to see the affects that one event had on all of us-both good and bad. Particularly, Rebecca sees and has watched the affect this has had on my Dad's health, her PaPa.  She has always been so very concerned about my Daddy. She was telling me that whenever my Daddy(her PaPa) passes away, it will be the first "big" loss she will ever have experienced, personally. I look at theses events and see definite connection. I don't believe it is mere "chance" that Rebecca is passionate/gifted in the area of health/nutrition. Instead, I see it as a wonderful/glorious opportunity that God is using to "restore" our family. Rebecca is the ONE that is changing the tide of bad health, poor exercise habits, poor nutrition, etc... in my family. She is "breaking a terrible cycle" that has already cost us so very much. She has chosen to "learn something" (demonstrating her wisdom) from others lifestyle choices and use it to help change things for her family. She has already had a positive affect on me, just being here this summer. I'm sure that, subconsciously, some of her reasoning for loving health/nutrition is that she wants to motivate her OWN Mom to be more active/be careful what she eats/etc... so that she doesn't find herself in the same situation (as a daughter) that I did 12 years ago. I want to honor her choice to follow the path that she has chosen and be here for her as she's getting married, raising children, etc...  So many things that I've missed out on with my own Mom-if I can give them to her, it will be a gift at such little "cost" to me.

The benefits of better exercise/nutrition habits in my day to day life FAR outweigh the little I feel I am giving up. Particularly in regards to the extra stamina it gives me to do the Lord's work. I'm so proud of Rebecca for understanding that the PRIMARY motivation behind her choosing this path is that she wants to take care of her temple. The body that God gave her to use to serve Him in while she walks on this earth. It's not about "how she looks" (strictly the outer appearance), it's about having more energy, stamina, longevity of time to serve Him while she is here.  It's about honoring God "in her body".  I am thankful that God always has a plan for His people-a way to restore after calamity. I give Him glory/honor/praise for bringing Rebecca into our family to break a terrible cycle of poor health choices. Reminds me of what is said in the book of Esther-"who knows but that God has put you here for such a time as this".  Truly, the greatest "restoration" we can have is the restored relationship with God. All paths of life lead us back there-to our starting point-our PURPOSE for living-to love/serve Him. I pray that I will continue to use my body for His glory/purpose on this earth just as my daughter, Rebecca, has chosen to do.

Princess

So, I'm setting here today thinking about how I will begin this blog entry. There are so many directions my mind could take me, but I will stick to the subject matter at hand-our recent 2 week cruise to Hawaii.  Many have asked me about the cruise, Hawaii, Princess cruiseline, etc... I intend for this post to give everyone a general overview/opinion concerning our own personal experience.

First, you should know that we LOVE to cruise. It is, hands down, our favorite way to vacation as a couple/even as a family. I did want to preface this blog with this bias (our LOVE for cruising) out of the way immediately.

Many are probably wondering "what's so special about cruising?" Well, our response would be, what's NOT special about cruising? The only reason I can imagine ANY person not enjoying cruising would be if they get motion sick-now that would be pretty miserable and I wouldn't want to be in a stupor the entire trip from motion sickness meds. Fortunately for us, we do not get sick in this fashion and quite enjoy the gentle swaying/rocking back and forth of the ship-there is NO better way to go to sleep every night than to be gently rocked...ask a baby, they will attest to that!lol  Here are some of our own thoughts about WHY cruising is so wonderful. Following is a list of reason we LOVE to cruise: 1) You can TOTALLY disconnect from the outside world and relax.  You "can" use internet/cell phones, etc...if you have a burning desire to do so or perhaps "need" to do so...but it is the one way you can truly vacation without any of these things and feel totally "safe" doing so. I know many people don't like to "leave their phone" at home during a normal vacation because there is a nagging feeling that you may need the phone for some safety situation (car breaks down, etc..) On a cruise ship, this does not apply. We did (for the first time EVER) buy an internet package onboard this time because we were away for 2 entire weeks w/one of our daughters not "feeling well" the morning we left. It gave us peace of mind. But, we only used the internet once every 2 days-to check on her and for my hubby to "delete" his work email so he wouldn't have 10,000 to evaluate when he returned. Cruise lines "discourage" the use of technology on board by charging astronomically for these services that are used via satellite. 150 minutes of internet usage cost us $100...outrageous! But, again, this is the first time we've ever purchased this and it was for peace of mind on our part-not because we can't relax or "disconnect". I prefer to totally disconnect and just enjoy the people/activities on board...that is all of the "connection" I need.  2) Have the opportunity to be PAMPERED for X amount of days on board the ship. Truly, the cruise industry are masters of taking care of their customers. You truly want for nothing-pretty much the "way" you are pampered is up to you. You can choose "free style" dining-which means you can go to a dining room at whatever time you want, every night, dressed smart casual, etc...or you can choose to dress in smart casual and head to the main dining room every night(at an assigned dining time) where you will be seated w/other cruisers that you will get to know during the duration of the cruise as they will set w/you night after night-here you also get the SAME wait staff which allows them to learn your habits, make recommendations, and serve you more efficiently.  There is also the choice of a casual "buffet" line on the upper deck-you can dress VERY casually here-as long as you are covered and have shoes on...pretty much anything goes here. There is also the option of room service on board the ship. Room service is 24 hrs/day and is "included" in the price of your cruise. You never have to leave your cabin OR the ship if you prefer not to! Several cruise ships also have "specialty" restaurants onboard...these are reservation only and are usually about $25/person cover charge, but the restaurants are absolutely outstanding-each of them have their own chef/staff just for the restaurant. Normally it will take 2 hours for a 4 course dinner here-you can eat/order as much/little as you'd like while here. Besides the various "pampering" options of dining, you also have a special steward that takes care of your cabin (room on the ship). 3) Room pampering-this is another reason we love to cruise. Your room/beds/linens/etc... will be refreshed a minimum of 2X/day UNLESS you put out the "do not disturb" sign. Every night you will have a clean, turned back bed w/chocolate on your pillow-YUMMY! Every morning when you return from b'fast, your bed will be made-you literally don't have to do ANYTHING but take care of packing before you come on the cruise, then you can "unpack" once and enjoy this all-inclusive experience onboard a ship. I don't know about you, but if my bathroom gets cleaned, towels washed/replaced, bed made, etc...at home, it's done by ME and most certainly (w/exception of the bed) isn't done every day! 4) Value-a cruise can be an AMAZING vacation value! For many years it was thought to be a vacation just for the "elite" or "retired/elderly".  My only regret is that we bought into that stereotype and didn't do more research ourselves instead of assuming it was "out of our reach/range". We would have a LOT more cruises in our travel adventures if we'd only known. That's why I enjoy sharing everything I can w/others about cruising so they will have a "realistic" picture of what it is/what to expect.  After reevaluating previous vacations our family/we have taken through the years...yeah, cruising can be a pretty sweet deal-monetarily/comparatively. Don't misunderstand, there are some "expensive" cruises, but knowing WHERE to go to look for deals, etc...when to purchase, etc...is part of the adventure of cruising. Cruising is "all inclusive"...again, you CAN spend more money once onboard if you choose to, but you don't HAVE to, it is your choice. Once you arrive at the port of call to board the ship (your responsible for your expense to arrive there), the only "outside" expense you will incur is a $12/day per person charge for tips for your wait staff/room steward (even these can be paid in advance) or the expense of any "planned" excursions (trips off the ship at various ports) that you choose to take. Where else can you get a hotel, transportation, GOURMET food around the clock, room service, and broadway style entertainment/shows for less than $100/person per day? Like I mentioned before-it's WONDERFUL to get on the ship and know I pack once/unpack once and I'm DONE! This brings me to another reason we love to cruise 5) Seeing the world...what other form of travel allows you to see/visit so many DIFFERENT sites, places, etc... in just a few days time? You simply get on the ship and start enjoying your "city on a boat"-eat, relax, go to shows, activities on board, etc... until you arrive at your first "port of call"-then you get to "sleep" through the night while your driver (the captain of the ship) takes you to your next destination. What a fantastic way to see the world! 6) Food/Entertainment/Excursions on board-wow, I can't speak highly enough about these things. The cruise industry are absolute marvels at taking care of, entertaining, and making your vacation special w/myriads of activities, food, etc...that appeal to everyone. Truly, there is something for everyone. At times it can be almost overwhelming the "choices" on board a cruise ship. No matter what you enjoy- trivia, learning to line dance classes, exercise in a gym, learning ball room dancing, bingo, watching movies, learning about cultures of places you will visit while onboard, music-piano, symphony, classical, quartets, ratpack, relaxing in a hot tub, pool, lounging in the sun, karaoke,etc... there is almost always something for everyone's taste. The good thing is-you choose what and IF you do any/all of the activities, it truly is your choice! 7) Finally, I would say we enjoy cruising because we enjoy getting to know different people from all over the world. It expands our minds to consider the reality that we truly live in a very big world and it is interesting to share experiences/time on board w/other people from all over the globe.

So, now that I've shared why we love to cruise. Let me speak specifically to cruise lines. To date, I have taken 7 cruises w/6 different cruise lines. Though there are some "standards" that are true among cruise lines across the board-there are some things that make each line a little "different"-hence their own little niche in the market. We have purposefully tried various cruise lines while trying to decide WHICH line we would be "loyal" to so that we can begin building "reward" points/specials for cruising again/again. This cruise, we decided that Princess Cruises will be our "official" line of choice. Let me say that there are some "things" about other lines that we liked better...onesies/twosies...but when we evaluated the "entire" experience, we decided Princess would suit our needs very well in the future. I'm sure you are wondering WHAT were the things we liked better about other lines. Our favorite cruise line food, overall, is Celebrity cruises. WOW-their sushi bars, etc...really were "stellar" and "included".  HOWEVER, the thing you need to know about Celebrity is that it is a MUCH more expensive line to cruise and does not have the overall "availability" of cruise ports around the world that Princess does. Princess is the ONLY line that offers "significant" discounts to military/retired military families (up to $250/person per cruise)...this is a big consideration for us considered this benefit will "pay us" again/again as we cruise. The only line that had "stellar" bedding was Holland-America-I refuse to be loyal to a line that's theme is "those dam ships" (out of Holland-hence, all of it's ships end in "dam"-Amsterdam, Zollendam, etc...). Some may say that is petty-but to me it's a matter of principle. We did like the "set up" of the interior staterooms on Princess...it's the only ship we've been on that has the closet area/bathroom area "behind" a wall and doesn't come directly into the room.  Hands down, the "entertainment" on Princess was the best we've ever experienced. Every night you have a "choice" of 2 different main "after dinner" shows. On all other lines, there has only been once choice of show. There are also 3 different "seating times" for these shows-on all other lines-only 2 seating times. The activities on board-offerings, etc...were excellent on Princess...choices many/varied w/fantastic "schedule" that changed every day(free Zumba classes w/licensed instructor-fab!). A couple of other "extras" on Princess we had not experienced on other lines-"Movies under the stars" is a program where they have a GIGANTIC outdoor theater screen above the main pool area and show movies while a "popcorn" steward brings you freshly popped popcorn while you enjoy a "new" motion picture film.  The choices were many/varied in this as well...something for EVERYONE by the end of the cruise. Also, the staterooms/cabins had an EXCELLENT choice of tv viewing opportunities...changed EVERY day...NEVER the same/no repeats. Had modern TV, retro TV, family programs, discovery, new movies, etc...so if you didn't want to leave your cabin-you could have a LOT of choice of things to watch in the cabin!  Princess and Celebrity are the ONLY lines that offer their OWN tenders to shore. Tenders are "small" boats that hold about 250 people that take people to shore when the ship has to "anchor" offshore because of depth of water, etc... in particular ports. IF a ship has it's own tenders/system, they operate so much more effectively than "waiting" for a hired company, offshore, to take passengers back/forth. We were VERY pleased w/that as well. The clientele aboard Princess was suitable for us. It was the FIRST cruiseline that we felt, overall, everyone was "classy"...not SNOBS by any means, just classy and respectable. 75% of the cruisers aboard were over the age of 60-just about the exact opposite of Carnival (our least favorite). Given that we are getting older every year and hope to cruise twice/year once John retires-we want to be on a line that "caters" to those that are older. Though these folks were older in age, many were not old in stamina. Wow-they would stay up and dance w/their spouse for hours on end...true ballroom dancing which is TOUGH stuff to do hour after hour. However, the "excursions" were primarily for an older audience which appeals to us. Though we enjoy the beauty of tropical islands-we are not INTO the beach/bikini scene per se. We prefer to see the islands, get out among the people, have experiences, etc...a beach is a beach as far as we are concerned.  Another thing w/the older crowd is that there was a very high level of "respectability" in the way people dressed/behaved throughout the cruise-this was nice. A final thing that helped us decide Princess was the line for us was the "diminished" push for alcohol sales and casino on board. The cruiselines make their "money" off of casinos and the sale of alcohol on board. They don't make money off of people that choose NOT to gamble or drink only the complimentary beverages (ice tea, lemonade, coffee, hot tea, water).  Most other lines are VERY pushy about the sales of these items. We did NOT find this to be the case at all on Princess. Though some people did have an occassional glass of wine w/dinner or after dinner cocktail-the use of alcohol was GREATLY below what I've seen on other lines and we did not see even ONE person that had too much to drink and was obnoxious because of it during the entire 14 days. That was certainly a first for us. Again, some lines are worse than others in reputation concerning this.

Now that you know WHY we, personally, have chosen Princess-let me tell you a bit about this particular cruise. Let me explain that until this cruise, the longest we have been on is 7 days. This was 14 days at sea. We had no idea if we'd "like" the longer cruise, if we'd get "bored", etc...for us it was absolutely amazing! We LOVED having a relaxing 5 days at sea-going to Hawaii-4 days in 4 different Hawaiian islands-then 5 days returning to "recuperate" from the hectic/busy days in the islands. Before, we experienced 2 days at sea, 3 days in ports, and 2 days back at sea. In retrospect-not "enough" time on the ship. That's just our personal preference. We "like" to relax, spend time in activities on board, get to "know" people on board, etc...it's part of what we love about cruising-the CRUISE itself-not just the destinations! Hawaii...well it was beautiful. We would LOVE to go back to Maui in the future. It was our favorite island. We would like to fly in, rent a car, "camp"around the island at the various "free" public beaches and eat very simple whole foods while enjoying the full island experience. We enjoy "village hopping" wherever we visit and Maui is exactly the type of island to enjoy different little towns/shops/etc... Our favorite excursion was the visit to Haleakala Crater on Maui-most amazing site I have ever seen. Truly, looked just like the surface of the moon. Just outstanding display of God's creation.  Yes, Hawaii was beautiful-but we were surprised by a few things. First, we were surprised that Oahu was SO commercialized/it was just like an average big American city w/high rises and all-really took away from the simplicity of the island. John had opportunity to be stationed there about 4 years ago-I'm glad it wasn't God's plan for us to go there. I would NOT have liked living on such a beautiful island w/so much modern architecture. We were also surprised by the lack of wildlife/birds, etc... in the Hawaiian islands. Never thought about it before we were there...but the islands have all of these GORGEOUS tropical plants, foliage, etc...but VERY few animals (except CHICKENS and a few javalina-which they EAT!) and wild birds. It seemed very strange to be in a rain forest like environment and not hear birds, monkeys, etc... just weird to us.

This was our favorite cruise ever, thanks foremost to God, then Princess cruises and it being a TRULY relaxing vacation for 14 days. We felt that it was well deserved after being separated for an entire year-this was our first "get away" (except our trip to Cali in Nov which was unexpected) since John returned from the desert. We could not have chosen a better vacation to focus on "us" again. This was the best vacation we've ever had-because it was just the 2 of us, alone, being pampered, and focusing/enjoying just being together. I felt like a PRINCESS the entire cruise-like I had found my Prince and was being treated like royalty w/no concerns for housekeeping, meals, children, schedules, etc...for just a few days. Dressed up every night and went to a LOVELY fancy/gourmet dinner w/the love of my life then enjoyed after dinner music, shows, etc...truly, it was amazing. It was amazing because God granted us this wonderful gift...this gift of a special cruise vacation to celebrate 25 years of commitment/love to one another in holy matrimony. Throughout scripture, God talks about the beauty of marriage and I appreciate His blessing to us in this cruise vacation to celebrate our love!

I will close with this final thought that may seem "totally" unrelated to this blog, but think about it and perhaps you will see the connection. I mentioned I felt like a Princess during this cruise-while experiencing God's wonderful gift of Creation and having time to just "reflect" on my life, I realize how much I look forward to Heaven. In Heaven I will have none of these concerns either-what I will eat, wear, responsibilities, housekeeping, etc...Because I am ALREADY God's Princess, I will simply "relax" and "be" in the presence of my Heavenly Father. Singing praises to His great name in such fantastic "classy" company as the apostle Paul, Moses, Joshua, Joseph, etc... and mostly Jesus, Himself! So, until I reach Heaven, I will be God's Princess here and let Princess cruises remind me of the glories to come each/every time I have opportunity to cruise with them!

Christmas and what it means to me

As I sit here on this Christmas Eve, I type by the lights on my tree-one of the joys and pleasures that I cherish each year during this season. I have enjoyed reading all of my fb friends post this evening about their various celebrations w/family and friends as well as the preparing that Santa and Mrs. Claus is doing for children I know all over the globe. I don't normally post about Christmas, but this year I find that my heart is full to overflowing with what Christmas has come to mean to me over the years. I have ALWAYS enjoyed every holiday, but Christmas has always been my favorite. There are several reasons for this, I loved it so much that I CHOSE to be married at Christmas time and even had Christmas flowers in my bouquet! However, the main reason that I love Christmas goes back to my childhood. I have SO many memories involving Christmas and not just during the holiday season. Part of my "legacy" is that I have parents that worked at a Christmas decoration factory for a large period of my childhood. They manufactured ornaments-particularly beautiful glass balls w/glitter, bands, pictures, etc...and eventually even "shaped" blown glass style ornaments which have come to be my favorite over the years. Christmas was around me ALL year...not just at Christmas time. One of the first times I ever remember earning money was during the summer when I was about 9, I sat for several hours during the day and used an old fashioned paper cutter to cut boxes of "bands" (on the dotted lines) that would be melted around the glass balls at the factory. Of course this was before automated machines did this job, so yes, I suppose this statement "dates" me a bit!lol But, perhaps this gives you a bit of insight into WHY Christmas is special to me.

Last year at this time, my family was not all together for Christmas. My hubby was half way through his 1 year tour in Qatar and we "postponed" our Christmas celebration until mid-January when he returned. Last year, the girls/I were with my sister and her family in Blackwater, Missouri(our future retirement home in 3 years time:) For the first time, my girls were blessed to help play the role of "Santa" for my nieces and got to see the way things work "behind the scenes" at Santa's workshop-we have some great memories from our 3 days at my sister's last year and wouldn't trade them!  It was fun to "step back in time" and see Christmas through the eyes of very young children. It had been many years since my own girls have experienced that childhood "wonder" that comes during the Christmas season, so it was a joy for all 3 of us.  This year, we are blessed to ALL be together again. John has been "home" with us for 6 months now, Rebecca has "returned" home to us (in a new abode in Arizona) from her sophomore year in college after being away for 5 months, and we are all healthy/well just enjoying "life" together during this most wonderful time of the year.  It's interesting how as we and our children grow/mature, the meaning of Christmas can grow/mature with us.

 I suppose, for me, the "root" of what Christmas means to me is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Besides the short period of time in my life that I was a VERY young child and only thought of "myself" and what Santa would bring ME-Christmas has always meant a time of love spent with those that mean the most to me.  My experience has been that it doesn't matter what's under the tree, what food is on the table, who the day is shared with, etc...but the LOVE that is shared is what Christmas is all about. Love is such a beautiful word and one that the bible speaks of again and again. Though it's a very misused/abused/misunderstood word in our modern culture, when we return to the root of the word-we find God. GOD IS LOVE! Without God, we would not know love nor understand it. I am thankful for love-the love of my husband, children, parents, siblings, friends, brethren, and most of all, the love of God. At Christmas time, more than any other time of year-I am reminded of love. It is expressed every where I go. Sometimes in a material gift-the idea that someone "thought" enough about another to take the time and financial resources to purchase something for them. Sometimes in a party/festivity-someone takes the time and financial resources necessary to arrange a place for others to be together/enjoy one another's company. Sometimes it's in a meal-someone takes the time to prepare special foods and shares it with others. Sometimes it's in a beautifully holiday decorated home-someone took the time and financial resources to plan, decorate, and display special things for others to enjoy.  Sometimes in "time"-the fact that so many slow down for this ONE day a year and just spend "time" with those they care about. Any/all of these things CAN express love, however they don't always. The motivation behind these "acts of kindness" speak more to the idea of real love. Real love can be found in Jesus. Jesus came to this world to be born as a baby, live His life as a man, and die on the cross/was raised again so that ALL mankind could have the opportunity to come into relationship with God. There was NOTHING in it for Him. He did it, because He loved us and chose to obey His Father in all things. So, tonight I am reminded of what Christmas means to me....love. The love that I have for others, the love they have for me, and most of all the love of God which came through His Son, Jesus. While I know the bible does not speak of "Christmas" as a holiday we are commanded to celebrate as Jesus birth, I am thankful to have a time of year that I am reminded how very important love is. A love I could not know if it were not for God sending His Son into this world as Emmanuel-God with us.

It is my prayer that we can ALL live our lives as Elvis Presley sang in these words of a song:
"If every day were like Christmas, what a wonderful world this would be!"  I challenge my readers-until next Christmas-make EVERY day like Christmas. Share love w/others-just "do life"with them, no matter the day of year. Take time to spend a day off with those you love, purchase something special for them-for "no reason" in particular, plan a special meal for them using the "good" china, decorate for a "special" day together that isn't "on the calendar" as a holiday, etc...I challenge all of us to do LIFE as though every day were Christmas. It is possible, if we don't get "caught up in the details" (like so many of us can/often do this time of year). Keep the focus on love-mainly the love of God and all that He has done for us. Merry Christmas to all that may read this blog and may we keep the spirit of Christmas(love) alive every day in our hearts.

Tragedy-lessons to learn

In light of the mass shooting event that occurred at an elementary school in Connecticut, I thought I would share some of the thoughts I've had w/regard to many posts I've seen on fb and in the news. First, let me start by saying that it is absolutely inhumane what has happened. It is without natural affection that any human being can take another human being's life, much less dozens of them. My heart breaks for all involved in this tragedy, but my heart also breaks for all of us that are trying to process such a godless act.  I thought I would hit on a few, not all, of the things I have observed with regards to this event. Please know that these are my thoughts only. They are based on the experience I have in life, my love for discovering the truth of what God would have me know/learn, and on my own common sense given the situation. You may disagree with me and that is o.k. I use this forum simply to share my own thoughts and give all of my readers something serious to consider. I do not use it to cause dissension, disagreement, or to set in judgement on anyone else's opinions. It is also not my intent to cover every issue in great detail, just hit a few that I've recognized initially.

Let's just get the big pink elephant out of the room...gun control. Is gun control the issue at hand? Absolutely not! Self control is the issue at hand, or should I say the lack thereof. God has every answer for every thing we may face and He tells us a fruit of the spirit is self control. It may be cliche-but it's true-guns don't kill people, PEOPLE kill people. Let's get real-it is evident that the teachers at Sandy Hook did EVERYTHING in their power/control to protect the lives of their students.  That is to be admired in this society when so many of our citizens think "every man for himself" and are so self driven. It makes me proud that we had so many HEROES trying to do the right thing to preserve the lives of the students they loved.  Here's my thought about gun control...it will be an absolute disaster if we take guns out of the hands of "law abiding" citizens that will use them properly. Those that want to "kill" will use whatever methods are necessary to do so...look at history. GUNS are not the "weapon of choice" for brutalized killers in history. Gas chambers, bombs, etc...numerous other "devices" have brought millions to their deaths, not because of the "device" used-but because of the hearts of the men using the device! The men's hearts are evil, lack self control, and the root of course is that they do not respect GOD! If they did, they would NEVER take the lives of another person that contains a soul that was created in His image. Here's my common sense solution-let's allow the teachers in the classroom to have a gun to protect their children. That's what we did on aircraft after 9-11.  Things would certainly have turned out differently on Friday in Connecticut. These teachers PROVED that they would do anything-even stand in front of-to protect the children. So, why not give them the means they need to keep something like this from occurring, let's "level" the playing field. If just ONE law-abiding,  God-fearing, child-protecting staff member had a gun in that building on Friday-the shooter is possibly the ONLY one that would have died and the innocent could have been preserved/protected. I don't understand why anyone would believe that "guns" are the issue....guns are a TOOL and there are plenty of other tools a person that "sets his heart" (scriptural language for you there) to murder another person WILL use. In this case, it is OBVIOUS that this young man had his "heart" set on murder. We need to keep guns and make sure as many GOOD people have them/can use them as the enemies.

Which brings me to my second point. The hearts of men. THAT is the issue here. WHY did this young man commit murder against so many young lives? That seems to be the question that everyone wants an answer to. Unless there is significant proof that the young man was mentally impaired (which would mean he should have been institutionalized to protect others)-so far, this is not the case. So, for the sake of this blog entry-I am going to assume that he was just your average person with no lack of mental capacity. Some may say, "Wait, how could you NOT have a mental problem and kill all of those innocent children?" Because of lack of self control and the lack of God being the center of a person's life. WITHOUT God as the center, guess WHO reigns in men's hearts?  Yes, you guessed it, Satan. Each individual person chooses whether they will allow God or Satan be at the center of their lives. Only one of them can be your ruler. So, when Satan is your "ruler" of choice, you will perform the evil works of darkness. My fear is that so many people believe they just don't have to "choose", that they can just be a "good person" and that means they are on God's side. NOT TRUE...if you want to be on God's side-you must do the things necessary to join "HIS army". So, therefore, if you have not CHOSEN to be in the Lord's Army, you are by "default" in Satan's and don't be deceived, you WILL find yourself among some of the world's most deceitful, disgusting, criminals in Satan's army. I challenge us all to look seriously at our own lives and "declare war" against Satan. Make GOD the King of your life, let HIM be your Commander and ruler. If the young man that committed this crime in Connecticut had God as his center, he would NOT have been a part of this tragedy. We have to be about changing the "souls/hearts" of people. This starts by bringing God back INTO our homes, schools, society at large. If we buy into the philosophy that so many schools teach as "truth" today-then we are all just "animals" that evolved and when we are dead, we are dead-there is nothing else. We cannot allow Satan to take more innocent lives through this vain philosophy-it is a LIE! We are created in God's image, we have an eternal soul, and EVERY life is valuable...even the life of the shooter-Jesus died for HIS sins too-he just chose not to recognize that fact. Will you, dear reader, recognize that fact? Will you take and learn this lesson from the crime against us?

Finally, I just want to finish with something VERY positive. The fact that God is such an amazing/awesome God. His ways are perfect and His promises are true. NONE of these events comes as a surprise to God. He has told us over and over throughout history (through His Word) that man "cannot live on bread alone"...we NEED HIM! It is in times like these that I take great comfort in God's word. I know that every one of these children are now safe in the arms of Jesus. Interesting how in one moment a shooter can "mean something for harm" yet God brings good from it. This shooter was evil and inflicted "evil" on these young lives, but God took all of that away the moment their breath left their little bodies. They will NEVER know any more pain in this world, no more suffering, no more tears, they will never have to hear about future shootings/tragedies-for they are in the safe place of the arms of Jesus-forever comforted and happy. We can rest assured that the shooter is not. Because God's word is true-He is a just God and promises that all those that partake in the evil works of darkness will meet eternal condemnation in hell. I am sorry that the shooter did not choose a different path for himself. But, God allows us to "choose", He does not make us robots. He wants us to CHOOSE to love/serve Him and choose we all must-either God or Satan-those are the ONLY choices we have. So, today, I rejoice in knowing that these innocent young children are with our Savior, resting in His arms. I pray that each/every family member, loved one, etc...of those children will KNOW this truth. The truth that the children are now safe. I pray that they will CHOOSE God to be the center of their lives. That they will join their children and be reunited once again.

My final thought is simply this. This life is meant to prepare us for eternity. We are created to love/serve God here on this earth...journeying through until eternity. The question is-will we pass this test? ARE we living our lives, every day, with God as the center? God will not FORCE anyone to choose Him. He gives us free will. No matter what happens in this life-even tragic events like Friday in Connecticut-we can know FOR SURE that if we are following God, it helps make life so much easier to understand/process. We realize that God wants us to DEPEND on Him, that's what we are created for. To learn, through life's circumstances, that without Him, there is NO HOPE! But, with Him, there is great hope and the choice is ours.

WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT...

October 23, 2012

Haven't blogged in nearly 2 months. Mainly because I am just living my life in a new place. Still getting "settled", making it our home, adjusting to new surroundings, enjoying new experiences and building new relationships.  Which brings me to the purpose of this blog. To my readers I ask the question, "What is life about?" For all that know me, truly understand my "heart", they will already know the answer that I would give to that question. I am curious what others out there in blog land believe life is about.

For me, it's very simple. Life is about 2 things-both of which can be found in the Bible, God's holy word. These 2 things are fairly simple, yet Jesus reminds us that they are the "greatest" commands.  Even though they may sound fairly simple, they are sometimes difficult to keep in "focus" during our day to day lives.  Simply put...#1-love the Lord God w/all of your heart, mind, and soul and #2-love your neighbor as yourself.  The wisest man to ever live tells us in Ecclesiastes that "The whole duty of man is to fear God and keep His commandments".  Because I am a child of God, this is what I try to live in my life each and every day. I try to remain focused on what is important for "eternity"...not just today. Eternity is what life is all about!  I read this morning, a challenge, where someone had suggested that everyone read in the  book of Ecclesiastes. After reading the passage, someone else commented that the writer needed "prozac" and how we should just live and enjoy this life for all it is....the implication being that this IS all there is.  Oh dear reader how that made my soul sad.  I am sorry for anyone that believes that this earthly life is all there is. I am sorry that they don't understand God/His love and desire to dwell within the hearts of all mankind.  However, though many perhaps would not be as bold to say it, I fear that we often live our lives as though we believe that lie. The lie that Satan tells us all-"this life is all there is...live it up, enjoy it, then you die".

Why is this on my heart today? It is because once again, the crushing brutal reality of this world and the "death" Satan brought into it has yet again affected those that I love.  My heart aches because my niece, Amber, has lost her Mom (only 40 yrs of age), in a sudden/unexpected way. I have seen a lot of tragedy in my lifetime that has affected myself and those I love dearly. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I am always so sensitive to those that are affected by tragedy, I understand the pain, I've experienced it. You might say, "isn't every death tragic"?  For me the answer would definitely be "no".  Some death is "expected".  We all know that our bodies are not designed to keep functioning effectively for periods of time longer than about 70 years...that's what God says and He is the Creator. Yes, there are people that live longer lives than that. But, still we do understand that death is an imminent part of living in this world. For me, that's what makes it SO sad when others believe that this life is all there is.  What a hopeless thought. Tragedy is when someone that is "young" leaves this life well before what is considered their "appointed time". Granted, a loss is a loss, regardless of the age of the person we have lost. But certainly the affect that a given death has on a family/community is VERY different when that person is young, has young children, etc...

As I think about the days ahead for my niece and her siblings, I am reminded of so many passages of scripture. First, that "life is a vapor".  So, knowing and understanding this-how do I live my life each day that demonstrates this?  Do I live "like there's no tomorrow"? Am I careful to be thoughtful in my words-encouraging those around me to remember what's important-to love God and others. Do I keep my life activity/busy schedule/priorities in an order that God desires...remembering that this life is here one day and gone the next? Am I living my life prepared for eternity by "loving" Him first and others second?

Second, I am reminded that God is the giver of all good things.  Satan brought death into this world, but it is God that brought the resurrection of the dead through His Son, Jesus Christ.  Do I live each moment of the day reminded of all of the "good" God has given to me/blessed me with? Do I complain that life is "unfair" or do I fully understand/accept that this life is not supposed to be "fair"? This life is designed to be a preparing ground for eternity. A time that we become "dependent" upon God for His strength, love and support. A time that we learn without Him, life is meaningless and eternity hopeless.

Finally, do I live in such a way that would honor the lives of those who have gone before me? Whether we are talking about  military members who have fought for my freedom, a family member/friend that was tragically taken from this life, or most importantly Jesus who bought freedom from sin to all those that obey Him and are washed in His blood.  The life I live affects other people. Just as those that have left this life before us affected many lives-whether for good or evil. A person is never an island. We are built/designed to live in community, therefore our lives will/do affect other people. Even the most introverted person's life affects other people in some way. Perhaps it's only in a person's death that we come to understand/contemplate the affect that they have had on others. That's a shame. We really should take notice NOW/TODAY of the affects that other people are having on our lives and that we have in theirs. We should take the time to TELL the people around us those things-whether good or bad. We need to make one another accountable for our time here on this earth. Remind one another to live for eternity. If someone is making/has made a positive difference in your life-tell them that. Encourage them so that they can live/love others even more deeply and positively affect even more people. If someone around you is affecting you negatively-tell them that. Explain to them how they are hurting you and those around them while reminding them of the importance of eternity and keeping life in proper perspective.

I was blessed to know/spend time with my niece's Mom, Christy. She was a part of our family for the last 16 years.  She was a blessing to all that knew her. I am glad that I told her that/encouraged her-for she in turn did the same for me, many times.  Christy would comment on my blog-particularly when I wrote about my Mom. She knew/adored my Mom and always reminded me of the powerful influence my Mom was on her. Christy was "there" for our family during my Mom's death.  She was loyal beyond measure in helping my Dad keep the house cleaned "just the way" Mom did.  She often remarked about how she knew that would make my Mom happy and that it was helping my Dad get through that time until he could find his OWN way and figure out what he could live with in regards to housekeeping.  When I think of Christy, I think of love for family, loyalty to family, and lots of laughter. She had a heart full of joy and laughed often. She had her share of trials in this life and she did not live her life in perfection. But, she certainly was a woman that understood what was "important", she lived her life in love. Now, she will live on through my niece and her 2 siblings. Her legacy is left behind in 3 breathing souls that now have the opportunity to honor their Mom's life through living their own with "remembrance" of all that she taught them. The irony of it all is that Christy's life/my Mom's life mirror one another so very much. Christy was a YOUNG Mom (17)-so was my Mom (16).  Christy was a YOUNG Grandma (39)-so was my Mom (38). Christy's life ended in a sudden/unexpected way at a YOUNG age (40)-so did my Mom's (50).  Another irony...my niece and I have lives that have mirrored one another-we both had YOUNG Mom's-but were blessed that they loved us enough to keep us, raise us as their own, and become strong women that others admire/look up to. We both lost our Mom at a very tender time in our own lives-when our own children were young. I know what pain/heartache my niece is experiencing. I know how difficult it is to think about your own children never having the blessing/pleasure of KNOWING your Mom.  But, the one thing I have perspective on that my niece hasn't had enough life experience yet to understand-is that though her Mom is removed from her physically, her influence is ever with her. My niece wrote today on her fb page, "I just want to hear my Mom's voice".  I told her to "listen" and she would hear it. I believe that. No, she will not "audibly" hear her Mom's voice w/her ears...but she will with her heart. She will KNOW what her Mom is saying to her, wants for her, etc...because she has been blessed to have a Mom that loved her, taught her about the important things in life, showed her how to love others through her example, etc...her "voice" will always be with her through each day of her life.

So reader-what is life about. Life is about "hearing" the voice.  What voice you may ask? The voice that Jesus repeatedly reminded the disciples of during His time here on earth.  The voice of God.  Numerable times throughout scripture, Jesus tells His disciples to "he that has ears, let him hear."  Jesus is saying the same thing to us..."listen" to His voice. Hear what He is saying. Come to know and understand WHY you are put on this earth and what this life is all about. Loving God and loving others. It's THAT simple. Now, let God speak to you, hear His voice through His holy word. Live your life in a way that honors God-through loving Him first and others. THAT my friend is what life is all about. I feel blessed to have shared just a little part of "life" with Christy and am thankful for the love she showed me.