Today, I continue my tribute to my Mom and some of the things that she taught me. I thought perhaps it would be a good time to remember my Mom as a grandmother. This came to me because yesterday was my baby girl's 15th b-day and tomorrow would have been my Mom's 60th b-day. So, today falls between these 2 special days and it made me think of my Mom and the brief time she spent as a grandmother.
Though the period of time wasn't long-Amber (my brother's daughter) was 11, my girls were 8 and 5 when she died-my Mom certainly taught me a lot about being a grandmother. One of the first things I would say that I learned from her is to be available to spend time with your grandchildren. During our time living in Germany-we were only able to come for a visit about once every 9 months-though we'd usually stay about 3-4 weeks. My mom always made sure that she took time off (she worked 2 jobs during much of that time), took the girls to special places that she thought they would enjoy, just try to do things she knew would mean something to them in their little lives. My mom never failed to send my girls a "box" of goodies at every special calendar holiday. They always looked forward to receiving those boxes from the P.O. there in Germany. There were also many play times at the city park, trips to Chuck E. Cheese (though the nearest was an hour and a half away), certainly shopping for a fav toy and/or outfit, just all around kid centered fun. Some of the times I remember most are the times that my mom planned a special b-day party and her huge Christmas extravaganzas for the grandkids. My Mom grew up poor, without many worldly possessions, and certainly did not have big b-day or Christmas celebrations growing up as a child. She even told me many times about how sad she would be (as a young girl) at Christmas time because she always wanted just one nice doll, from Santa, and would ask for it year after year only to be disappointed and receive a "necessity" item like a pair of socks. So, my Mom was determined to work VERY hard to make up for her own childhood through the lives of her grandchildren.
My Mom would work tirelessly, for months, to make Christmas a special time for all of her grandkids. She even bought a "santa" suit and always recruited some poor unsuspecting family friend to play the role every year at our family Christmas party. The kids LOVED it! This was during the time they all "believed" in Santa and my Mom would absolutely play this role up and build their anticipation of the big man's arrival on the scene. She would make sure Santa brought each child a "gift" that was special for them in a big pack on his back. The celebrations didn't stop there...my Mom would go to a LOT of trouble to make sure Santa visited HER house for all of her grandkids each year and on Christmas Eve would sit out loads of gifts (usually 8-10 things each) for each grandchild! Mom loved to do this. Mom was a shopper and given her early childhood history/experience-it's easy to understand why she went overboard every year. The important thing I learned from her about Christmas w/grandkids was not the abundance of gift giving...but how important it is to make those grandkids feel special. It took "time" for Mom to do all of that shopping, planning, baking and cooking each year...but she did it because that's how she expressed her love. I got some of those traits from my Mom...I love to plan parties for those I love, I enjoy cooking (both daily and for special events) for my family-I'm not a great baker and stick to that almost exclusively for the holiday time-and I am certainly NOT a shopper. That's one of the ways Mom/I have always been different. She loved to shop and loved Wal-Mart-I avoid it at almost any cost! Perhaps it's because I did not grow up in want. Though we were certainly NOT rich and in my younger years I would say we scraped by...it was ALWAYS a priority (for my parents) to give us a big Christmas with lots of gifts to show their love. I, however, live my life in a more "simple abundant" way...less is more mentality. It has everything to do with my "love language". Nothing I enjoy more than spending "quality time" with those I love. My Mom was a "gift giver". I may spend a lot of time planning an event for my loved one-but when the event time comes-I want to be right in the middle of it all-enjoying every minute of it-remembering what the "better part" is...memories of time together. I don't want to be behind the scenes stressing about getting the food finished, making sure every detail is right, etc...I want that to be taken care of ahead of time so that when the time comes I can truly be "in the moment". My Mom often did that...she planned for weeks ahead when we would be coming to visit. Arranging things so she could take time off to be with her grandkids.
My Mom was "there" when my first daughter was born. Mom/Dad made that trip to NC so that they could be there to be w/me and meet/hold that special grandchild. My Mom was SO happy when the docs were wrong and our Rebecca WASN'T a Joshua;)lol Mom wanted a granddaughter so badly and boy did she go hogwild the day after Rebecca was born! She brought in a huge sack of clothes for that baby girl from Wal-Mart. We did have a lot of fun together dressing up that baby like a little doll over and over again trying on those new outfits! Poor thing was only a day old and already sick of having her picture made because of COURSE there had to be a pic taken of her in EACH new outfit! My Mom was so proud...Oh, I know she would have loved ANY grandchild, but she had her heart set on a granddaughter and she got her hearts desire. Mom wasn't able to be there when Michaela was born as we were in Germany at the time. The thing I DO remember is that my Mom was actually hoping that my second daughter would be born "on her b-day". Of course, Michaela didn't wait quite long enough...she made her appearance 2 days before. However, I was glad she didn't wait because I was already 9 days overdue! The thing I learned from my Mom during the birth of my girls was how important it is to be interested in each/every detail of that grandbaby. What color their eyes are, whose feet, nose, etc...they have. Just absolutely enraptured in the love of every nook/cranny of that grandchild.
Since my Mom left us 10 years ago, I've often thought about that special "grandma" love my girls have missed out on, but then I remember what a blessing it was for my Mom to have had them in her life during those last few years. My girls don't remember my Mom-they don't remember all of the special things she did for them-but it's not because they weren't "special" enough to remember, it's because of the age they were. But, I am absolutely thrilled that my Mom was blessed to share her love w/my girls...it's a gift to me and it was a blessing to her-even if their little minds were too young to remember. I think about my 2 wonderful nieces-Bayleigh (6) and Brylea (1 3/4). About how crazy Mom would have gone, AGAIN, over 2 granddaughters. I've often thought of the irony that both my sister/I have 2 girls. My Mom LOVED having granddaughters! Though certainly it isn't possible to replace a person and I would never try to BE my Mom or take over her role as a grandmother...I do love my nieces as though they were my very own grandchildren. They hold a special place in my heart for several reasons-1) I'm so proud of the life my sister has made for herself despite her early childhood 2) To honor the love my Mom would have had for those grandbabies 3) I'm at the age my Mom was when she had my own girls as grandchildren. All 3 of these things motivate me to "make time" to spend w/my sweet nieces. They help remind me that time is precious/fleeting and they are only little for such a very short time. Funny how life comes "full circle". I am now experiencing similar experiences w/my nieces that my own Mom experienced w/my girls just 10-15 years ago.
I'll finish today's blog by talking a little about my Mom's first/oldest granddaughter, Amber. If my Mom were still here with us, Amber would make her a great grandmother early next spring. Seems CRAZY to think of any woman being a 60 yr old GREAT grandma! But, Mom had her babies when she was a "baby" herself. Amber is 21, she isn't a baby having a baby. Amber is having a great grandson for my Daddy! It is very exciting thinking bout another generation being added to our family. As much as my Mom always wanted granddaughters (and that's ALL she ever had and all she ever would have had even if she was still with us), I believe Mom would have been absolutely ecstatic to FINALLY be having a boy in the family again...she'd say, "It's about time!" I look forward to meeting my nieces son. I pray each day that she will pass on some of her Grandma's love to that sweet great grandson of my Mom's. Grief is a double edged sword-it carries the sting/pain of the loss, yet it carries the blessing of memories shared being even more precious. Today, I choose to think of the memories shared-watching my Mom be a grandma to her grandchildren-learning from her the things that are important-remembering that life is for the living and to treasure each "new" memory that has been made w/those that I love since that day 10 years ago. I pray that if the Lord grants me grandchildren some day, that I will treasure each moment and make our time together "special" and unique to the personalities that God created each of us to be.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
A Life of Service
Today, my blog will continue with honoring my mother and a few of the things that she taught me both in word and deed during her short time w/me here on this earth. I thought perhaps "service" would be one of the top things that comes to mind when I think of my Mom. Given that yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the tragedy of 9/11, I thought it would be a good time to discuss this idea of service.
For the last couple of weeks, I've heard about an "idea" that KLOVE (a radio station I listen to frequently) had for it's listeners. That perhaps instead of focusing on the negative/loss of that tragic day 10 years ago-that we instead would memorialize that day as a National Day of Community Service. I certainly thought that was a great idea, but then I thought of my Mom. How my Mom lived a "life" of service, not just a day. Isn't it unfortunate that we live in a time when we have to put "specific" days on our calendars/schedules to remember special events/memorialize special days. We live in such a "hectic" world, so fast paced, if it's not on our calendar-it just normally will not get done. I believe most people have good intentions, they want to do good for others, they want to serve in their community, etc... but there is SO much "good" out there, that we become overwhelmed and just can't seem to get it all done...even what our hearts truly desire.
My Mom truly lived a life of "service". That was always evident to me from the time I was a young child. Doing for others-whether it was in our family, among our friends, in our community, etc...serving was "who she was". The day of my Mom's funeral, it became abundantly clear to me how many lives she had truly touched w/her service to others. In this modern day w/people so busy and schedules so crammed, if over 1,000 people show up to a funeral visitation service and stand in line for HOURS outside of the funeral home to pay their respects, this is when you know that someone has indeed touched the lives of many people. I feel very blessed to have had a mother that touched so many in such a short period of time.
So, what are some ways that my Mom showed me an example of service? First, by the service she gave to her physical family members. There were MANY times that my Mom "took in" a family member to live with us...whether it was a cousin, sister-in-law, aunt, uncle...you name it-my Mom willingly took the time to serve her physical family even in the midst of working 2 jobs, maintaining a household, and many other outside activities. It was not uncommon for someone to live in our home while they "got back on their feet", "got their life straightened out", etc...and my Mom not only helped care for them physically-but she was always for them emotionally-to provide guidance/advice/help for those that wanted/needed it.
Another way that my Mom provided service, was that she was an active member of a community service sirority. My Mom was a member of Beta Sigma Phi for nearly 20 years. This organization provided many services for our local community as well as for many charities. They had an annual fundraiser for St. Jude's children hospital, they provided eye glasses for children in need at the local school, they provided food/utility bills, etc...for families in need, and many other things such as that. My mom served on the "board" of the local chapter in many capacities and was even crowned the "queen" of Beta Sigma Phi for her dedication to the cause. My Mom was so very passionate about helping/serving others...she had a heart of compassion and this organization was a way that she reached out/took time OUT of her schedule to serve others.
Finally, my Mom even exemplified her "service" mentality in the profession she chose. My mother was a "house mom" for the state of Missouri to several grown men that were mentally handicapped. Mom even worked 2 jobs for the state at one time...one for the state home and one for an organization called ADAPT which helped those w/mental handicaps to learn skills necessary to "adapt" to independent living such as shopping on their own, ordering from a menu on their own, etc... This passion that she had for serving others carried over into her final days in life when she became a foster parent to 6 children that didn't have stable homes. At my mother's request, my parents adopted 3 of those foster children(which all had special needs) and the other 3 (who were not "eligible" for adoption) remained in my parents home until they were of legal age to be on their own. My Mom opened her "heart" and life to these children and they were truly "our family". Unlike many foster families that I knew about during my time as a young child...my Mom insisted that these children were "included" and became contributing members of our family. She served them by giving them a place to "belong", taking them on vacations, allowing them to have "experiences" w/extra curriculars in the community, making sure holidays/birthdays were special, giving them "accountability" for their actions/behaviors...she truly loved them as though she gave birth to them all. When my mother passed away and we were deciding what would be in her obituary and on her headstone, we all knew that we must honor the fact that she was a mother to 8 children, not merely the 2 that she physically gave birth to. My mother's "service" to these additional 6 children taught me that there is SO much more to family than blood. Family is about experience together, love, compassion, caring, etc... Indeed, I was blessed to have a Mom that gave her life so freely in service to others.
Through my Mom's example, I have followed in her footsteps. Again, I learned so very much from my Mom that has benefitted me in my own life, particularly as a servant of Jesus Christ. The idea of "service" originated with the Savior. Jesus said, "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve." It is my love for my Savior and the love He showed to me in that ultimate "sacrifice" of service on the cross that motivates/inspires me to live my life in service to others. Having a living/breathing example of that in my life day in/day out for 33 years in my Mother has made service very "natural" for me and for that I am thankful. First, I serve my family day in/day out. I made it a priority to be available, FIRST, to my family. That means that there were many times that we had to save money for a particular vacation, item we wanted to purchase, etc...because I chose to "stay at home" and manage my household/family through service. What I found is that truly we were not missing out on a thing, God always provided for our needs, and we were "still" a family that loved one another despite the fact that I had chosen to be a domestic engineer at home-we were blessed! Second, I have served my community in numerous ways. I have been on the school PTO boards, been in Junior Auxiliary (community service organization here in Cabot), helped w/soccer teams, helped w/Girl Scouts, loads of things that my girls were involved in when they were younger. As the girls have grown, my involvement in service has changed. I have more "freedom" to do things that don't involve my girls-such as sitting w/spending time w/elderly widows/widowers,hosting a monthly girls club, cooking at a week long youth bible camp, helping w/HIPPY group meetings each month, and being a MOPS mentor. Though the "face" of service has changed for me because of my stage in life, it still provides the same benefit...showing my love to others because Jesus first showed His love to me on that cross.
So, it is with this thought that I will close this blog. I challenge each one of my readers to look at their calendars and search your hearts this week. Do you have something of "service" that your heart longs to do? If so, just get out and do it! Don't wait for our federal government to come up w/a day on the calendar for us...make today that day! Better yet, remember that a life of service is just that...a life! A life comprises moments which turn to minutes/hours/days/months/years...not just a day on the calendar. As hard as it was to lose my Mom 10 years ago...most of the days following her death I was continually reminded how much her "life" had meant to so many others because of her service. She made a difference, she made her life count by serving others. She "lived" more in 50 years time than most are blessed to live in a normal lifespan! She was not "unique", didn't have any special "power"...we all have the same ability to make our lives count, we just have to do what she did-which the Savior did first-go serve w/a heart of love. Don't put it off...things will always be "in the way"...today, go make a difference and serve another in your small corner of the world. If we do this today, tomorrow and each day that follows-we will be living in the footsteps of the Savior and will make a difference for eternity.
For the last couple of weeks, I've heard about an "idea" that KLOVE (a radio station I listen to frequently) had for it's listeners. That perhaps instead of focusing on the negative/loss of that tragic day 10 years ago-that we instead would memorialize that day as a National Day of Community Service. I certainly thought that was a great idea, but then I thought of my Mom. How my Mom lived a "life" of service, not just a day. Isn't it unfortunate that we live in a time when we have to put "specific" days on our calendars/schedules to remember special events/memorialize special days. We live in such a "hectic" world, so fast paced, if it's not on our calendar-it just normally will not get done. I believe most people have good intentions, they want to do good for others, they want to serve in their community, etc... but there is SO much "good" out there, that we become overwhelmed and just can't seem to get it all done...even what our hearts truly desire.
My Mom truly lived a life of "service". That was always evident to me from the time I was a young child. Doing for others-whether it was in our family, among our friends, in our community, etc...serving was "who she was". The day of my Mom's funeral, it became abundantly clear to me how many lives she had truly touched w/her service to others. In this modern day w/people so busy and schedules so crammed, if over 1,000 people show up to a funeral visitation service and stand in line for HOURS outside of the funeral home to pay their respects, this is when you know that someone has indeed touched the lives of many people. I feel very blessed to have had a mother that touched so many in such a short period of time.
So, what are some ways that my Mom showed me an example of service? First, by the service she gave to her physical family members. There were MANY times that my Mom "took in" a family member to live with us...whether it was a cousin, sister-in-law, aunt, uncle...you name it-my Mom willingly took the time to serve her physical family even in the midst of working 2 jobs, maintaining a household, and many other outside activities. It was not uncommon for someone to live in our home while they "got back on their feet", "got their life straightened out", etc...and my Mom not only helped care for them physically-but she was always for them emotionally-to provide guidance/advice/help for those that wanted/needed it.
Another way that my Mom provided service, was that she was an active member of a community service sirority. My Mom was a member of Beta Sigma Phi for nearly 20 years. This organization provided many services for our local community as well as for many charities. They had an annual fundraiser for St. Jude's children hospital, they provided eye glasses for children in need at the local school, they provided food/utility bills, etc...for families in need, and many other things such as that. My mom served on the "board" of the local chapter in many capacities and was even crowned the "queen" of Beta Sigma Phi for her dedication to the cause. My Mom was so very passionate about helping/serving others...she had a heart of compassion and this organization was a way that she reached out/took time OUT of her schedule to serve others.
Finally, my Mom even exemplified her "service" mentality in the profession she chose. My mother was a "house mom" for the state of Missouri to several grown men that were mentally handicapped. Mom even worked 2 jobs for the state at one time...one for the state home and one for an organization called ADAPT which helped those w/mental handicaps to learn skills necessary to "adapt" to independent living such as shopping on their own, ordering from a menu on their own, etc... This passion that she had for serving others carried over into her final days in life when she became a foster parent to 6 children that didn't have stable homes. At my mother's request, my parents adopted 3 of those foster children(which all had special needs) and the other 3 (who were not "eligible" for adoption) remained in my parents home until they were of legal age to be on their own. My Mom opened her "heart" and life to these children and they were truly "our family". Unlike many foster families that I knew about during my time as a young child...my Mom insisted that these children were "included" and became contributing members of our family. She served them by giving them a place to "belong", taking them on vacations, allowing them to have "experiences" w/extra curriculars in the community, making sure holidays/birthdays were special, giving them "accountability" for their actions/behaviors...she truly loved them as though she gave birth to them all. When my mother passed away and we were deciding what would be in her obituary and on her headstone, we all knew that we must honor the fact that she was a mother to 8 children, not merely the 2 that she physically gave birth to. My mother's "service" to these additional 6 children taught me that there is SO much more to family than blood. Family is about experience together, love, compassion, caring, etc... Indeed, I was blessed to have a Mom that gave her life so freely in service to others.
Through my Mom's example, I have followed in her footsteps. Again, I learned so very much from my Mom that has benefitted me in my own life, particularly as a servant of Jesus Christ. The idea of "service" originated with the Savior. Jesus said, "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve." It is my love for my Savior and the love He showed to me in that ultimate "sacrifice" of service on the cross that motivates/inspires me to live my life in service to others. Having a living/breathing example of that in my life day in/day out for 33 years in my Mother has made service very "natural" for me and for that I am thankful. First, I serve my family day in/day out. I made it a priority to be available, FIRST, to my family. That means that there were many times that we had to save money for a particular vacation, item we wanted to purchase, etc...because I chose to "stay at home" and manage my household/family through service. What I found is that truly we were not missing out on a thing, God always provided for our needs, and we were "still" a family that loved one another despite the fact that I had chosen to be a domestic engineer at home-we were blessed! Second, I have served my community in numerous ways. I have been on the school PTO boards, been in Junior Auxiliary (community service organization here in Cabot), helped w/soccer teams, helped w/Girl Scouts, loads of things that my girls were involved in when they were younger. As the girls have grown, my involvement in service has changed. I have more "freedom" to do things that don't involve my girls-such as sitting w/spending time w/elderly widows/widowers,hosting a monthly girls club, cooking at a week long youth bible camp, helping w/HIPPY group meetings each month, and being a MOPS mentor. Though the "face" of service has changed for me because of my stage in life, it still provides the same benefit...showing my love to others because Jesus first showed His love to me on that cross.
So, it is with this thought that I will close this blog. I challenge each one of my readers to look at their calendars and search your hearts this week. Do you have something of "service" that your heart longs to do? If so, just get out and do it! Don't wait for our federal government to come up w/a day on the calendar for us...make today that day! Better yet, remember that a life of service is just that...a life! A life comprises moments which turn to minutes/hours/days/months/years...not just a day on the calendar. As hard as it was to lose my Mom 10 years ago...most of the days following her death I was continually reminded how much her "life" had meant to so many others because of her service. She made a difference, she made her life count by serving others. She "lived" more in 50 years time than most are blessed to live in a normal lifespan! She was not "unique", didn't have any special "power"...we all have the same ability to make our lives count, we just have to do what she did-which the Savior did first-go serve w/a heart of love. Don't put it off...things will always be "in the way"...today, go make a difference and serve another in your small corner of the world. If we do this today, tomorrow and each day that follows-we will be living in the footsteps of the Savior and will make a difference for eternity.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Blessing of Hospitality
This afternoon, I sit here in my living room enjoying the nice cool breeze coming through the windows. Unfortunately I also hear my youngest daughter breathing heavily from her room as well. She is home from school-not feeling well at all on such a gorgeous fall like day. Doesn't seem right...gorgeous outside and she's feeling so crummy. I share this with you only to let you know what's happening around me as I blog this a.m.
September is here and with this month always comes a mixed bag of "feelings" and "emotions" for me. Fall is my absolutely favorite season of the year and I feel doubly blessed that I had 2 "fall" babies-one born in September the other in October. That just adds a little more "sweetness" to fall for me. Those of you that know me, know that September is somewhat of a schizophrenic month for me, emotionally speaking. It is the month that I am most nostaglic. Certainly, December would fall in line second to it, but a close second. Given this is September, I will share my reasons for the nostalgia.
I already mentioned my girls birthday...my sweet Michaela LeighAnn was born on a Wednesday morning at 10:01 in Landstuhl, Germany on the 18th of September, 1996. She will be 15 in just less than 2 weeks-she is a sophomore in H.S.-meaning she only has a little under 3 years left at home before she spreads her wings and flies away into adulthood. Then there is of course the anniversary of 9/11...yes, this year will mark 10 years since our nation was brutally attacked by heathen in the name of "god", which of course we know is not THE God, just their God. Our God says vengeance belongs to Him. I know there will be many special honors and memorial services on this day given it is the 10 year anniversary. I'm sure we all remember exactly where we were at when we heard the news and were shocked that our nation could be attacked in such a horrific way.
For me, this September marks 10 years of something very different. 10 years without my Mom in my life. 10 years that time has marched on without the one woman in my life that gave of herself day in/day out. 10 years that my girls have not had their grandmother in their life to "spoil them". 10 years that my siblings/I have not had Mom to arrange all of those family dinners, b-day parties, and most def those HUGE Christmas extravaganzas. Yes, my life was changed very significantly 10 years ago on September 26th, just 6 short days after my Mom turned 50 (her b-day was September 20th), my Mother's journey w/us here, ended.
So, you may be asking, WHAT in the world does that have to do with the title of today's blog? Everything my dear reader, everything. My mother gave me so much and taught me so many valuable lessons during her brief time on this earth...but the biggest blessing she shared was the blessing of hospitality. I always look for things that God may be teaching me, reminding me of through the daily events of my life. This month of September, reminds me of all of the many things my Mom taught me/showed me as an example. I will use this month to "honor" her memory for all that she sacrificed and gave to me during her journey here as my mother. When I think of my Mom, so many things come to mind-but "hospitality" is the one word that can sum up so many of the things that she taught me. As I was sitting here this a.m., I listened to a sermon CD by brother Bruce Reeves and the topic was "The blessing of hospitality". As I listened to the sermon, I felt tears crawl down my cheeks and fill my eyes. I didn't try to suppress them, I just listened intently, took in the moment and allowed the memories to flood my mind/heart/soul. You see, my Mom embodied hospitality. She was a living, breathing, example to all who were blessed to have her in their lives. As I listened to brother Reeves I just thought..."that was my Mom". Then I thought about all of the ways I have been "blessed" by hospitality myself over my time as an adult. I have LOADS of memories from my childhood of ways that I was blessed with hospitality. So, I sat there thinking...if I were to leave this life at age 50 (just a few short years away for me now), would my children also think of "me" when they hear a sermon on hospitality? What legacy am I leaving my children? What will they remember about me? Will it be something of eternal significance, or will it be just something frivolous and of no real consequence/benefit to anyone else? I pray it is the former-I want my life to "matter", I want my life to have significance...but not just any significance-I want it to have "eternal" significance. I want my life to glorify God. I want it to be a "blessing" to others.
Memories of times past flooded my heart...times in my own adult life that I've been blessed by hospitality. What I found was that I have been most blessed when I have shared hospitality with others. I suppose it's true for most of us that we grow/mature the most when we are the one "sharing" something with another. I grew the most as a student of the bible when I've taught others myself. I also grow the most in "hospitality" when I share it with others in numerous ways. Hospitality is not merely the "sharing of a meal" or "opening of your home", it is a lifestyle of being available for others in whatever ways needed at the time. It is reaching others "where they are" and "esteeming others more highly than ourselves." True hospitality is not merely the sharing among friends/family-quite the contrary-it is opening yourself to "strangers". It is being "vulnerable", "available", all of the things that our society sees as "weak". When is the last time you heard someone suggest that you not engage in some of the many wonderful activities available to us in our modern society so that you could be of service to someone else? One of the huge problems in society today is the emphasis on self. This is in direct opposition to what Jesus Christ taught/lived while on this earth. Jesus was always available for others and put himself last. He even said we must "empty ourselves", "deny ourselves", "the first shall be last and the last shall be first." One thing I can say about my mother-she put others before herself. Often to the detriment of her own health and in the end, this is what took her life. My mother's "desire" to do for others, be available for others, just keep going on less/less sleep, whatever it took...she was willing and she DID sacrifice. Sacrifice---another term not very popular in our pc culture. The idea that we would give anything up for another's well being. I am so grateful to my Mom for being a living example of what that meant. I am thankful to God for placing me in a home where I learned what true hospitality is because it was lived on a daily basis. That one thing has been absolutely invaluable to my spiritual life as an adult. I have been able to "see the trees" and not just the forest, understand what real "priorities" are, and just extract every precious moment I can and pepper it with "hospitality".
I thought I might share some ways I pray that hospitality is reflected in my daily life. I don't share these things to pat myself on the back or receive accolades, only that I may fondly remember the blessings I've received and thereby give God the glory/thanks for each and every one of them.
When I first became a Christian in 1988, my husband/I were blessed to have a young preacher/his family show us ongoing hospitality. They opened their LIVES to us...they included us when their family went to gospel meetings, out to eat, on trips, etc... They helped us feel like there was a "place" that we belonged and that place was the family of God. It was my first experience, outside of my own home, with true hospitality. They became our "family" and made us understand our place in this new "family". What a fantastic living biblical example we had and it is due to this early "connection" in the family of God, that we are able to now share our life so openly with others.
When we moved to NC in 1991, my husband/I decided we were going to "implement" some of the things we had learned from their example. It was during our 4 years here that God, again, gave us provision to learn and build on the foundation of hospitality we had already witnessed. We were now the ones being "called on" to reach out to others, share with others, encourage others, etc...What an amazing 4 years that was. Truly "utopic" in a sense...especially when it came to hospitality. It was no longer "limited" in its scope where just a few families were available/inclusive...but now, we were witnessing an entire congregation of people so involved in one another's lives that there was little "time" for any of those "outside" activities that so often distract Christians from sharing life together. We WERE each others activity-there were times that we were so involved in one another's lives that we often couldn't find a spare moment to fit in just one more "visit" or "bible study", etc...it was an amazingly encouraging time and preparing my family for even greater service in the kingdom of God.
By the time we moved to Germany in 1995, we had a "reputation" for being "that" family that would always be there to encourage, rebuke, exhort, love...whatever was needed. It reminded me of Paul and the way that he would specifically send "letters" to various congregations to let them know of another's reputation for the work they were doing (or not doing) for the Lord. I would often set back and think, "Wow, how did we get here?" It all seemed like such a natural progression...absolutely "burden free" and just a part of who we were becoming. Interestingly enough, that's how it's supposed to be. Growing up in Christ is a daily progression/journey...one step at a time you go from "milk" to "meat". We were once the ones strictly receiving edification/encouragement/blessing through hospitality of another...now we were the ones giving it.
When we returned from Germany, we were blessed to be a part of a fairly new congregation that was still in the "Honeymoon" days of the excitement of a new work for God in the local community and there was so much love/joy that came from just being together as Christians. We were together frequently as a whole group and as small groups as well. There were a lot of home bible studies, there were monthly get togethers for the women and all of the members, ladies bible classes in homes, special parties/events...not quite as "time" consuming as our time in NC had been because many of the women in Arkansas worked outside the home during the day. In NC, the women were always together during the day...so it indeed felt like hospitality was "around the clock". It was during this time, that my Mom passed away. Hospitality was shown (by our preacher) when he drove out of his way and showed up at my Dad's home with a bucket of chicken to offer his sympathy and tell of his love for my husband/I/our family. Again, we were the ones being blessed.
While living in England, my family opened our home to the brethren once a month on a Saturday. We were blessed to live "in the country" and oh how the brethren loved to make the monthly trek to the "farm" to spend the day with us there. Some of the blessings shared among just 25 people each month are a huge part of what keeps me motivated today to press on toward that goal of eternal life. We were blessed to share life with brethren of different cultures, share food from different cultures, share experiences with different cultures, etc...during that time. The one foundational thing that kept each of us returning each month, for 3 years...was our fervent love for the Lord and one another. It didn't matter that we were "different". The only thing that mattered was how "precious" it was that we were so VERY different, yet could be unified and have no greater desire than to serve the Lord together/spend every precious moment we could together during our short time together. It is a blessing that I will NEVER forget. So many "thanked" us for our hospitality, but we were the ones that were blessed. They offered US hospitality each month just by "making time" to come spend the day with us. I do pray that is a lesson that other Christians I know will have the blessing of learning before eternity. The "blessing" of sacrificing time, money, convenience, whatever is necessary to spend time with their brethren demonstrating love. Also during our time in England, I thought about the various gospel preachers that stayed in our home during their weeks stay during lectureships that were held there. We were the ones BLESSED to have the opportunity to open our home, sit with them and share in their spiritual successes/struggles in endeavoring to preach the gospel there in the UK. My girls were blessed to have opportunity to "give up" their rooms, sleep on the floor, help prepare meals, forego one of their activities for a brief time...whatever was necessary to spend this brief time together with brethren that have dedicated their life to serving the Lord in full time ministry.
Since our return to Arkansas this time, the dynamics of our lives have changed. The biggest blessing of hospitality that we've experienced during our time here was the mission trip to Mexico in '08. It is incredibly impressive to witness the hospitality among the "youngest" of those in the congregation there...even 2 year olds are taught to "welcome" those into the church. We are thankful for our friends that extended the "invitation" to our family to go work for the Lord for 2 weeks in Mexico. It was a life changing experience and hospitality was "lived out" for the entire 2 weeks that all 20 of us were together. Our youngest obeyed Christ, in baptism, during our time in Mexico...something that we never could have suspected would happen. I know that much of the "reason" for that final decision was that she saw the love/hospitality of brethren being "lived out" during our time there. It's hard to "resist" that type of love, that love is of God:) Our youngest daughter now has a group of Christian friends that meet monthly in our home to spend time studying the word of God, playing games, sharing books they've read, etc... Just "doing life" together as a young support group for one another. We even visited shuts ins, as a group. It's so important for these young people to know that they are important and their contribution is invaluable to the kingdom. They don't have/need to WAIT to grow up to love others for the Lord, they can do it now. Now, we also find that our college aged daughter is being "blessed" weekly by the hospitality of a Christian family. She has been given the "key" to their house, been welcomed into their every day life, spends entire Sundays with their family, etc... This past weekend-hospitality really reared its head when I welcomed 3 out of state Christian college students into our home for the holiday. These young people have become a part of our lives over the last 4years at youth camp. Only one of the 3 is from a "Christian" home, the others have obstacles to their faith even from their own home life. It was such an enormous blessing to hear one of the young men (who has only been a Christian for a year and a half) say a prayer of blessing for our b'fast and also to lead a devotional song for us on Sunday evening. The spiritual growth/maturity I've seen in these young people over the time I've known them is nothing less than astounding. They were so incredibly gracious guests...effortless to have them because of the "bond" we all share. They kept repeating how much fun they had, how much they appreciate the hospitality...the truth is-my life is SO blessed because of these young people. I am a better person, I love more deeply, I am more forgiving, I am more longsuffering, all because I have the blessing of being a part of these young people's lives and just a small part in helping them along this journey of life. There is absolutely NOTHING I would trade for our time together. I'm glad that I don't "schedule" every moment of my day. I'm thankful that every moment that is "scheduled" is for the "better" part....just like Jesus told Martha..."Mary has chosen the better". It wasn't that what Martha was doing was wrong...preparing a meal for Jesus and his disciples was a "good" work...but a "better" thing was being available to hear Jesus message. Time is the most precious commodity in our modern day and it has a high price tag. I'm thankful that I had a mother that taught me to squeeze EVERY moment from a minute...to use time "wisely", making sure my schedule is filled with things of significance. It's SO easy to get caught up in just "busy-ness", but oh how much it means to someone just to be available to "listen", encourage, remind them of scripture that is applicable, etc...
I will conclude by mentioning the biggest blessing I've found in hospitality....that hospitality is the hospitality I show God each day. Yes, even God desires my hand of hospitality. I do my best to give it to Him by offering my life a "living sacrifice" every day. I offer it to Him through the time I spend alone with Him every day...most especially my time early in the a.m. when the house is "still"...that is my time to obey His command/extend my hand (heart) of hospitality and "be still and know that He is God." Such an important concept. Lest I leave anyone with the impression that I understand hospitality to be just a VERB...it is not strictly a "doing" word. The greatest lesson my mother taught me about hospitality...it is a "being" word...it is WHO YOU ARE. I pray that I will always BE hospitable, most especially to my Creator, God. For certainly if my heart is open to Him, it will in turn be to others. I am so thakful for the greatest hospitality ever extended to me...the hospitality of God through offering His Son, Jesus Christ, that I may have forgiveness of my sins/hope for eternal life if I will obey Him. Now that was a sacrifice...and hospitality can never be offered without sacrifice. Until next time, may we each sacrifice something for another in the coming days ahead and most of all, may we give our lives a "living sacrifice" of hospitality by opening our hearts to God.
September is here and with this month always comes a mixed bag of "feelings" and "emotions" for me. Fall is my absolutely favorite season of the year and I feel doubly blessed that I had 2 "fall" babies-one born in September the other in October. That just adds a little more "sweetness" to fall for me. Those of you that know me, know that September is somewhat of a schizophrenic month for me, emotionally speaking. It is the month that I am most nostaglic. Certainly, December would fall in line second to it, but a close second. Given this is September, I will share my reasons for the nostalgia.
I already mentioned my girls birthday...my sweet Michaela LeighAnn was born on a Wednesday morning at 10:01 in Landstuhl, Germany on the 18th of September, 1996. She will be 15 in just less than 2 weeks-she is a sophomore in H.S.-meaning she only has a little under 3 years left at home before she spreads her wings and flies away into adulthood. Then there is of course the anniversary of 9/11...yes, this year will mark 10 years since our nation was brutally attacked by heathen in the name of "god", which of course we know is not THE God, just their God. Our God says vengeance belongs to Him. I know there will be many special honors and memorial services on this day given it is the 10 year anniversary. I'm sure we all remember exactly where we were at when we heard the news and were shocked that our nation could be attacked in such a horrific way.
For me, this September marks 10 years of something very different. 10 years without my Mom in my life. 10 years that time has marched on without the one woman in my life that gave of herself day in/day out. 10 years that my girls have not had their grandmother in their life to "spoil them". 10 years that my siblings/I have not had Mom to arrange all of those family dinners, b-day parties, and most def those HUGE Christmas extravaganzas. Yes, my life was changed very significantly 10 years ago on September 26th, just 6 short days after my Mom turned 50 (her b-day was September 20th), my Mother's journey w/us here, ended.
So, you may be asking, WHAT in the world does that have to do with the title of today's blog? Everything my dear reader, everything. My mother gave me so much and taught me so many valuable lessons during her brief time on this earth...but the biggest blessing she shared was the blessing of hospitality. I always look for things that God may be teaching me, reminding me of through the daily events of my life. This month of September, reminds me of all of the many things my Mom taught me/showed me as an example. I will use this month to "honor" her memory for all that she sacrificed and gave to me during her journey here as my mother. When I think of my Mom, so many things come to mind-but "hospitality" is the one word that can sum up so many of the things that she taught me. As I was sitting here this a.m., I listened to a sermon CD by brother Bruce Reeves and the topic was "The blessing of hospitality". As I listened to the sermon, I felt tears crawl down my cheeks and fill my eyes. I didn't try to suppress them, I just listened intently, took in the moment and allowed the memories to flood my mind/heart/soul. You see, my Mom embodied hospitality. She was a living, breathing, example to all who were blessed to have her in their lives. As I listened to brother Reeves I just thought..."that was my Mom". Then I thought about all of the ways I have been "blessed" by hospitality myself over my time as an adult. I have LOADS of memories from my childhood of ways that I was blessed with hospitality. So, I sat there thinking...if I were to leave this life at age 50 (just a few short years away for me now), would my children also think of "me" when they hear a sermon on hospitality? What legacy am I leaving my children? What will they remember about me? Will it be something of eternal significance, or will it be just something frivolous and of no real consequence/benefit to anyone else? I pray it is the former-I want my life to "matter", I want my life to have significance...but not just any significance-I want it to have "eternal" significance. I want my life to glorify God. I want it to be a "blessing" to others.
Memories of times past flooded my heart...times in my own adult life that I've been blessed by hospitality. What I found was that I have been most blessed when I have shared hospitality with others. I suppose it's true for most of us that we grow/mature the most when we are the one "sharing" something with another. I grew the most as a student of the bible when I've taught others myself. I also grow the most in "hospitality" when I share it with others in numerous ways. Hospitality is not merely the "sharing of a meal" or "opening of your home", it is a lifestyle of being available for others in whatever ways needed at the time. It is reaching others "where they are" and "esteeming others more highly than ourselves." True hospitality is not merely the sharing among friends/family-quite the contrary-it is opening yourself to "strangers". It is being "vulnerable", "available", all of the things that our society sees as "weak". When is the last time you heard someone suggest that you not engage in some of the many wonderful activities available to us in our modern society so that you could be of service to someone else? One of the huge problems in society today is the emphasis on self. This is in direct opposition to what Jesus Christ taught/lived while on this earth. Jesus was always available for others and put himself last. He even said we must "empty ourselves", "deny ourselves", "the first shall be last and the last shall be first." One thing I can say about my mother-she put others before herself. Often to the detriment of her own health and in the end, this is what took her life. My mother's "desire" to do for others, be available for others, just keep going on less/less sleep, whatever it took...she was willing and she DID sacrifice. Sacrifice---another term not very popular in our pc culture. The idea that we would give anything up for another's well being. I am so grateful to my Mom for being a living example of what that meant. I am thankful to God for placing me in a home where I learned what true hospitality is because it was lived on a daily basis. That one thing has been absolutely invaluable to my spiritual life as an adult. I have been able to "see the trees" and not just the forest, understand what real "priorities" are, and just extract every precious moment I can and pepper it with "hospitality".
I thought I might share some ways I pray that hospitality is reflected in my daily life. I don't share these things to pat myself on the back or receive accolades, only that I may fondly remember the blessings I've received and thereby give God the glory/thanks for each and every one of them.
When I first became a Christian in 1988, my husband/I were blessed to have a young preacher/his family show us ongoing hospitality. They opened their LIVES to us...they included us when their family went to gospel meetings, out to eat, on trips, etc... They helped us feel like there was a "place" that we belonged and that place was the family of God. It was my first experience, outside of my own home, with true hospitality. They became our "family" and made us understand our place in this new "family". What a fantastic living biblical example we had and it is due to this early "connection" in the family of God, that we are able to now share our life so openly with others.
When we moved to NC in 1991, my husband/I decided we were going to "implement" some of the things we had learned from their example. It was during our 4 years here that God, again, gave us provision to learn and build on the foundation of hospitality we had already witnessed. We were now the ones being "called on" to reach out to others, share with others, encourage others, etc...What an amazing 4 years that was. Truly "utopic" in a sense...especially when it came to hospitality. It was no longer "limited" in its scope where just a few families were available/inclusive...but now, we were witnessing an entire congregation of people so involved in one another's lives that there was little "time" for any of those "outside" activities that so often distract Christians from sharing life together. We WERE each others activity-there were times that we were so involved in one another's lives that we often couldn't find a spare moment to fit in just one more "visit" or "bible study", etc...it was an amazingly encouraging time and preparing my family for even greater service in the kingdom of God.
By the time we moved to Germany in 1995, we had a "reputation" for being "that" family that would always be there to encourage, rebuke, exhort, love...whatever was needed. It reminded me of Paul and the way that he would specifically send "letters" to various congregations to let them know of another's reputation for the work they were doing (or not doing) for the Lord. I would often set back and think, "Wow, how did we get here?" It all seemed like such a natural progression...absolutely "burden free" and just a part of who we were becoming. Interestingly enough, that's how it's supposed to be. Growing up in Christ is a daily progression/journey...one step at a time you go from "milk" to "meat". We were once the ones strictly receiving edification/encouragement/blessing through hospitality of another...now we were the ones giving it.
When we returned from Germany, we were blessed to be a part of a fairly new congregation that was still in the "Honeymoon" days of the excitement of a new work for God in the local community and there was so much love/joy that came from just being together as Christians. We were together frequently as a whole group and as small groups as well. There were a lot of home bible studies, there were monthly get togethers for the women and all of the members, ladies bible classes in homes, special parties/events...not quite as "time" consuming as our time in NC had been because many of the women in Arkansas worked outside the home during the day. In NC, the women were always together during the day...so it indeed felt like hospitality was "around the clock". It was during this time, that my Mom passed away. Hospitality was shown (by our preacher) when he drove out of his way and showed up at my Dad's home with a bucket of chicken to offer his sympathy and tell of his love for my husband/I/our family. Again, we were the ones being blessed.
While living in England, my family opened our home to the brethren once a month on a Saturday. We were blessed to live "in the country" and oh how the brethren loved to make the monthly trek to the "farm" to spend the day with us there. Some of the blessings shared among just 25 people each month are a huge part of what keeps me motivated today to press on toward that goal of eternal life. We were blessed to share life with brethren of different cultures, share food from different cultures, share experiences with different cultures, etc...during that time. The one foundational thing that kept each of us returning each month, for 3 years...was our fervent love for the Lord and one another. It didn't matter that we were "different". The only thing that mattered was how "precious" it was that we were so VERY different, yet could be unified and have no greater desire than to serve the Lord together/spend every precious moment we could together during our short time together. It is a blessing that I will NEVER forget. So many "thanked" us for our hospitality, but we were the ones that were blessed. They offered US hospitality each month just by "making time" to come spend the day with us. I do pray that is a lesson that other Christians I know will have the blessing of learning before eternity. The "blessing" of sacrificing time, money, convenience, whatever is necessary to spend time with their brethren demonstrating love. Also during our time in England, I thought about the various gospel preachers that stayed in our home during their weeks stay during lectureships that were held there. We were the ones BLESSED to have the opportunity to open our home, sit with them and share in their spiritual successes/struggles in endeavoring to preach the gospel there in the UK. My girls were blessed to have opportunity to "give up" their rooms, sleep on the floor, help prepare meals, forego one of their activities for a brief time...whatever was necessary to spend this brief time together with brethren that have dedicated their life to serving the Lord in full time ministry.
Since our return to Arkansas this time, the dynamics of our lives have changed. The biggest blessing of hospitality that we've experienced during our time here was the mission trip to Mexico in '08. It is incredibly impressive to witness the hospitality among the "youngest" of those in the congregation there...even 2 year olds are taught to "welcome" those into the church. We are thankful for our friends that extended the "invitation" to our family to go work for the Lord for 2 weeks in Mexico. It was a life changing experience and hospitality was "lived out" for the entire 2 weeks that all 20 of us were together. Our youngest obeyed Christ, in baptism, during our time in Mexico...something that we never could have suspected would happen. I know that much of the "reason" for that final decision was that she saw the love/hospitality of brethren being "lived out" during our time there. It's hard to "resist" that type of love, that love is of God:) Our youngest daughter now has a group of Christian friends that meet monthly in our home to spend time studying the word of God, playing games, sharing books they've read, etc... Just "doing life" together as a young support group for one another. We even visited shuts ins, as a group. It's so important for these young people to know that they are important and their contribution is invaluable to the kingdom. They don't have/need to WAIT to grow up to love others for the Lord, they can do it now. Now, we also find that our college aged daughter is being "blessed" weekly by the hospitality of a Christian family. She has been given the "key" to their house, been welcomed into their every day life, spends entire Sundays with their family, etc... This past weekend-hospitality really reared its head when I welcomed 3 out of state Christian college students into our home for the holiday. These young people have become a part of our lives over the last 4years at youth camp. Only one of the 3 is from a "Christian" home, the others have obstacles to their faith even from their own home life. It was such an enormous blessing to hear one of the young men (who has only been a Christian for a year and a half) say a prayer of blessing for our b'fast and also to lead a devotional song for us on Sunday evening. The spiritual growth/maturity I've seen in these young people over the time I've known them is nothing less than astounding. They were so incredibly gracious guests...effortless to have them because of the "bond" we all share. They kept repeating how much fun they had, how much they appreciate the hospitality...the truth is-my life is SO blessed because of these young people. I am a better person, I love more deeply, I am more forgiving, I am more longsuffering, all because I have the blessing of being a part of these young people's lives and just a small part in helping them along this journey of life. There is absolutely NOTHING I would trade for our time together. I'm glad that I don't "schedule" every moment of my day. I'm thankful that every moment that is "scheduled" is for the "better" part....just like Jesus told Martha..."Mary has chosen the better". It wasn't that what Martha was doing was wrong...preparing a meal for Jesus and his disciples was a "good" work...but a "better" thing was being available to hear Jesus message. Time is the most precious commodity in our modern day and it has a high price tag. I'm thankful that I had a mother that taught me to squeeze EVERY moment from a minute...to use time "wisely", making sure my schedule is filled with things of significance. It's SO easy to get caught up in just "busy-ness", but oh how much it means to someone just to be available to "listen", encourage, remind them of scripture that is applicable, etc...
I will conclude by mentioning the biggest blessing I've found in hospitality....that hospitality is the hospitality I show God each day. Yes, even God desires my hand of hospitality. I do my best to give it to Him by offering my life a "living sacrifice" every day. I offer it to Him through the time I spend alone with Him every day...most especially my time early in the a.m. when the house is "still"...that is my time to obey His command/extend my hand (heart) of hospitality and "be still and know that He is God." Such an important concept. Lest I leave anyone with the impression that I understand hospitality to be just a VERB...it is not strictly a "doing" word. The greatest lesson my mother taught me about hospitality...it is a "being" word...it is WHO YOU ARE. I pray that I will always BE hospitable, most especially to my Creator, God. For certainly if my heart is open to Him, it will in turn be to others. I am so thakful for the greatest hospitality ever extended to me...the hospitality of God through offering His Son, Jesus Christ, that I may have forgiveness of my sins/hope for eternal life if I will obey Him. Now that was a sacrifice...and hospitality can never be offered without sacrifice. Until next time, may we each sacrifice something for another in the coming days ahead and most of all, may we give our lives a "living sacrifice" of hospitality by opening our hearts to God.
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