As a person that considers herself an optimist/encourager/friend...in recent days I find myself struggling. There are many reasons for this, not all of which I want to speak directly about here on this forum. However, I find blogging to be therapeutic, so I am going to use this to express a myriad of feelings, thoughts, etc...that I've had recently about a variety of things.
As the title says, life can be HARD! I know that many of you know this-you are aware because you've had/are having experiences in your life this very minute that are difficult. I have gone through more "big" changes in this last year than my entire lifespan prior to that. There is a "scale" out there that counselors/psychiatrists use to calculate your lifespan based on various factors of change within your life. Even if the "change" is a "good" change, it still adds a layer of stress to your life, which is known to decrease one's lifespan. My life from November 2014-November 2015 is almost unrecognizable. I could go on and on about each of the changes-but I won't-because it isn't profitable. Instead, I will hit the highlights and move forward with purging my soul.
In 1 years time, I have faced 31 days in the hospital with my Daddy who was dying. He was leaving this world and I was left with some very difficult decisions to make "for him" in his final days/hours. I spent another month, away from my family, trying to handle immediate business for my Dad's estate, following his passing. I returned home to AZ, desperately needing to purge my house and prepare it for my husband's upcoming 30 year retirement/our FINAL move across the country to our new "empty nest" home. I attended/participated in many goodbye celebrations for my husband's retirement, leaving our beloved church family in AZ, leaving behind my children, etc... I left an adult daughter, behind, in AZ-in the hands of our loving Christian family-but for the first time, she was completely "set free" and independent. I left my other "emerging" adult daughter behind, for a short time-then went to help her move across the country to complete her college experience at the college of her choice. I adjusted to life in a 240 sq ft living space in our travel trailer, with just my husband/I again. I helped my husband "project/finance" manage the building of our retirement house (still in process). I have handled disgruntled extended family members in the handling of my Dad's estate. I've dealt with the law/court system in handling my Dad's estate. I've been hated/despised by many of my own extended family-even to the point of the contesting of my handling my Dad's estate. I have continued to deal with my only biological brother's, drug addiction problem, and all of the many issues that come with that. I have tried to expedite/help financially and emotionally, with my Aunts and 2 younger (mentally disabled) brothers move out of my Dad's house into their own respective places as they begin living their lives/adjusting to life without my Daddy. I was made "consciously" aware that my Daddy was not my biological father. Something that apparently I was made aware of, early in my life, but hid somewhere VERY deep. I am a middle aged woman with the physical woes that come with this time in life-I'm sure ALL 50ish year old women know/understand EXACTLY what I'm talking about! I have a new job-a program that had to be "launched" (built from the ground up) in this small community because it had not been properly carried out for a number of years and the poor reputation of the program had to be overcome. I went through MANY hours of training, many hours of recruiting, many hours of adjusting to being a "lone ranger" and working this program solo, many hours adjusting to working in a small community school, etc... I'm adjusting to a new church family-a small one that I will work with for the remainder of my years one this earth. I'm adjusting to a new community/new friends. Trying to find my "place" here and get to know as many people as possible so that I can be an asset here. I've finally gotten to be the "pseudo" grandparent for my nieces that they deserve and the sister that is "involved" and "active" in my sister's family life-not just a support from a distance. So, yep, lots of changes. Certainly not all of them are "bad". Not at ALL...many of them have been true blessings to my heart-even those that have been "hard", I am learning a LOT of life lessons from and growing from. But in it all-I see the hand of God.
Yes, the hand of God. That which I always look for because He is the center of my world. Whatever is going on in my life, I am always looking for God. Where is He, what opportunities is He offering me, am I missing an opportunity to grow/learn, etc...? The one thing that this past year has taught me is that life can be VERY hard...it is always changing. But, this life is not meant to be easy. If it were easy, would I long for Heaven? Would I long to be with the Savior and strive to live my life, daily, for Him-if everything was wonderful/easy? All of it makes me LONG for Heaven, to cry out, "Come, Lord Jesus"...it just frankly gets OLD! I get tired, weary, and discouraged when it's hard. But then comes the refreshing of the Lord's Spirit. Oh, how wonderful and true He is to His promises. He sends the Comforter. The One that will see me through EVERY valley of hard along this life's journey in this world. He reminds me of EVERY valley He's carried me through in the past...and there have been a LOT of them. I am reminded that not only will I survive, I WILL triumph!!! How do I know this? Because I am a child of the King! I belong to Him, I have been washed in the blood of the Lamb. I may have difficult days while living in this sin filled world-but I know the end and GOD WINS!!!! Hallelujah...praise Him-Jesus triumphed over the grave and because of that...so will I!!! I will be with God and all of the faithful for all of eternity...no more sorrow, no more tears, etc...just praising God and surrounding His throne with the faithful remnant that have gone on before me. Satan will be FOREVER locked up...no longer allowed to roam and cause me hurt/pain. That's WHY this world is hard, because Satan is roaming about seeking who he may devour. But, he will NOT have me...I cannot control who he can/will have...all I can do is encourage everyone that I meet to seriously consider who they give their allegiance to...God or Satan. I DO determine which path I choose and I choose God. I want to be on the winning side! This is THE story...the most important event of all history...and I KNOW the ending....GOD WINS. I am going to do everything that I can to make sure I'm on the winning team by obeying Him!
Due to my positive/optimistic nature, I can't end a post merely looking to the future. I "keep my eyes on the goal", but live my life, here and now, the best that I can. One of the ways that I do that is simple...NOT easy to do...but simple. I have JOY. Even in the middle of all of the discouraging/disappointing/heartbreaking events that may come my way...I am reminded that the "joy of the Lord is my strength". I am blessed. I cannot insult God by not appreciating/recognizing all that He's ALREADY done for me! Not just in the promise of eternity-but in this life-right NOW! Here are some things that I can have infinite JOY in from some of the life changes that I've encountered in the last year. The blessing of having 2 grown adult daughters that fear and love the Lord. They do not live their lives in sinless perfection, they make mistakes, but truly-their hearts/live are FOR God and there is no greater gift that could be given to my heart than to "know my children walk in truth". The blessing of having wonderful childhood memories with my parents and at the end of their respective lives-having a loving/caring "adult" relationship with them. That is a gift that NO ONE can take from me...not even disgruntled family members. I may not "know" my earthly father-but I CERTAINLY had the blessing of having a LOVING earthly Daddy that took care of me/loved me as his own...what a blessing that is! The blessing of loving church family...truly, God's provision through His children is far beyond any earthly relationship. The local congregation is a lifeline for me in this world and I'm so thankful. The new "job" and "friendships" I am making in our local community...it has been more amazing than I could ever have imagined. We have been welcomed with open arms and it is EASY to see why my sister has enjoyed living/working in this small place. The blessing of a "shelter" a place to call home-it is NOT the walls of a house that make a home-it's the loving/caring relationships that abide within the "shelter" that make it home. Even in the middle of building a "house", I already have a home! A home that has been expanded in love by the blessing of being in my sister/her family's life each and every day-living in the same community! A dream that I've had for almost 3 years now...from the day we purchased the 4 acres here in our small retirement community. From that day, I began to imagine my sister/I living in the same community, being "pseudo" grandma to her girls, just enjoying every day life, growing old together, just appreciating every simple memory we have the pleasure of making together. Though I don't know what the future holds...I do know that the present cannot be taken away! Money doesn't matter, houses don't matter, relationships do! My greatest joy has come through my husband. Truly, how many can say that their husband has built them a HOUSE! He works SO hard, every day, one project at a time, trying to complete the shelter that will become our lifetime "home". A place that I intend to feel FULL of love and memories with those new "friends" in our local community, God's family that He's provided us with here, any of our physical/extended family members that choose to be in our lives/love us, a place for our "grown" daughters to return to/find peace and comfort from the trials of the world, and finally a place to blossom some of those beautiful memories with my sister's family that I've longed to be with for the last several years. My husband is the MOST AMAZING support...he has been through each and every valley with me. He has listened, patiently, to my concerns/my heart as the pressures of life have mounted over the last year. He has continued to LOVE me, despite my inability to give back to him the way that he truly deserves. You see, my husband has had some of the same stressors...but in my selfishness, I have not always recognized that. He lost my Daddy too. He has to "deal with" my disgruntled family too. He had a MAJOR life change after 30 years of military service. We've walked this journey, together, and I truly appreciate/respect/honor him for all that he is to me/for me. I don't deserve it...truly, he could do much better and deserves much more than I give. Again, God has provided/blessed.
I will end this by saying...I pray for eyes to see what is right in front of me. Yes, life can be hard/life IS hard. I choose this day to continue serving the Lord. That one decision will resolve "all" things that are hard. He will provide, "exceedingly/abundantly above all that I can think/ask". He already has.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
FAMILY...what does it mean to you?
It has been several months since I wrote in this blog. The last blog I wrote was about "love". I would like to extend the idea of love and how it relates to "family". I have had many life situations that have recently caused me to consider who I really consider my "family". You see, family means something different to everyone. For some, family is ONLY those that share the same genetic pool. For others, family are those that live in their house. Truly, it does mean something different to almost everyone I've ever met. Consider this thought-being military kids, my daughters were often asked "where are you from?" For a military kid that has lived all over the world, that is a difficult question to answer because truly, there is NOT any one answer that is completely accurate. For our girls, they were "born" in different places, lived in different places, but unlike my husband/I...never had a place that they were "from". So, they called "home" wherever our family was together at the time. Home wasn't a place, location, or house, it truly was a feeling. A "feeling" that we shared as a nuclear family of 4 wherever we happened to live at the time.
Extend this idea to the idea of "family" and what that means. When someone asks me who my family is, I can tell them about my "physical" blood related family-whether we are talking my childhood relations or my "nuclear" adult family relations. I can also choose to tell them about my "spiritual" family-which I am related to through the blood of Jesus Christ. We are "born" of the same Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I could also choose to tell them of dear friends that I've been blessed to meet/know/spend time with along life's journey wherever the AF took us for 27 1/2 years. You see, regardless of the origin of the family I may talk with you about-there are characteristics that make them the same. Truly, "physical" blood relation means little to me. At one time in the history of God's people, this was a very important trait-but Jesus came and done away with all of that-adopting ALL that obey Him into His bloodline today. Therefore, my physical origins, alone, are of little meaning to me. It's the "relationships" that happen within the physical origins that make them important and have meaning. Without the relationship, WHAT does blood mean???? This is true whether we are talking about physical or spiritual relatives...blood without relationship means nothing! I realize that everyone has different experiences in life-some never "leave" the area they are born/raised in...whether by choice or necessity. They remain in the same area where the relationships with physical blood relatives are and may have very little opportunity to have any "other" type of family relationship. However, even in those instances-it truly is a "choice" that one makes. Just because you are raised in a particular physical family situation, does not mean you have to remain "active" and engaged in it if the relationships are not present or are unhealthy. You CAN choose to "find" family elsewhere...those that will love you, spend time with you, make time for you, think the best of you, come to you when they hear something questionable about you, etc... The bible speaks to this idea many times-particularly with regards to the "company" we keep-"evil companions corrupt good morals"...yes, sometimes that even refers to our physical families. Sad, but true.
Never has the idea of "family" been more true to me than in recent months. You see, I now have lost both of my parents. If I were a person that saw family as "only"physical relationships, I would be very lost in this world-a wandering "orphan" as it were. Yes, I have siblings-but the relationships are complicated for a variety of reasons...some of which can be changed, some that cannot. Do I love my siblings?...absolutely. I care for their well-being, do my best to make sure they're cared for, and pray the best for them all. However, the "relationships" we share are weak at best. With one bright shining exception-my sister-my ONLY sister. It should be noted here that this sister is NO blood relation to me whatsoever! We do not share the same genetics at ALL. We don't even share "childhood" experiences. I am the age of her biological mother. My husband/I have chosen to live in the same community as my sister/her family. You may wonder WHAT is it that makes this sister so different if we don't share any of the factors I mentioned...simply put..."relationship". We understand one another, we MAKE time for one another, we are interested in one another's well being, we both feel the "loss" of our parents...it doesn't matter if the parents were HER blood or not...they were the parents of her heart-just as they were mine! The loss is great, it's significant, it's painful, it's hurtful...but praise God it's also a beautiful reminder of how blessed we were to have OUR parents in our lives. Even at different times/stages of our parents lives and even though we weren't raised together-we both feel incredibly blessed by the "experiences" and "relationships" that we were blessed to share with our parents. Despite the lack of depth in relationship with the other siblings...we "get it" and we "relate" to one another. I feel incredibly blessed when I look at the timing of all the things that have occurred in my life/my sister's life...both things we have shared together and things we've experienced, separately, in our individual lives. I see God's hand leading us to where we are today. Together, living in the same town, having developed a loving relationship and "invested" in one another through the last 17 years that we've been in one another's lives. Now, we continue to reap our harvest on a regular basis through meals together, playing family games, enjoying holidays, sharing ideas, thoughts, etc... I'm so thankful that "family" means more than genetics.
Over 27 1/2 years of being a military spouse, I definitely learned to appreciate "spiritual" family most of all. They were the ones that were "in" my life day in/day out. I wasn't able to be "present" for most of my physical family members events-it just was not physically possible. This is why my spiritual family became so VERY important to me. They were my "support" system day in/out. They were who we spent holidays with, camped with, cried with, prayed with, worshipped with....just did "day to day" life with. I am blessed to say that even in retirement, we have an amazing spiritual family that we "do live with" here in our community. Even though my husband/I are physically separated from our girls at this point in our lives-we are ALL 4 blessed to have "family" in the respective places that we currently live. We all appreciate the "family" that is there for us-day in/day out. We are not "jealous" of the family that we "share" our girls with...we are happy for them and pleased that others are being blessed to enjoy our girls as much as we did. I feel blessed to know that even when others in my family of origin didn't understand/appreciate that I had "family" in the place I was living at the time-my Daddy always did. That's one of the things I miss the most-his loving support and encouragement to enjoy my time wherever I was living, experience as much as I could, etc... He understood that I had my life to lead and that it was "different" than the life he had chosen. He supported me and always asked me lots of great questions about the "family" where we were living. He was not "jealous" that my girls had "grandparents" in Arizona. He knew about Donna/Bruce and was happy that the girls had them in their lives. Of course he would have LOVED to have been able to be that grandparent for them-but time/distance/his health did not allow for that and he "loved" my girls, therefore, he wanted the best for them whatever their situation was in life. You see, my Daddy understood "blood" didn't matter...relationships did! I have my Daddy to "thank" for that belief system that I hold so dear to my heart today. You see, my Daddy only actually "fathered" one child, but he was a Daddy to 7 children that he "chose". He didn't "legally" adopt 2 of them...but he would tell you that they were HIS kids...he was THEIR Daddy...all 7 of them! That's how I feel about my nieces. I feel like a grandmother...not an "aunt". The relationship is indicative of a grandparent-they call me aunt Vicki, but I love them as though their mother came from me because the "relationship" that my sister/I share is very mother/daughter like. Perhaps it's the age difference. Perhaps it's the fact that we lost Mom when she was still a teenager. Whatever it is...it's good and healthy-one that I'm thankful for each and every day. Daddy lives on...through me and all that he taught me about what "family" means through his own example/life. I am treasuring each and every moment with his grandchildren-who are now MY grandchildren:) Donna/Bruce are treasuring each/every moment with his grandchildren-who are now THEIR grandchildren:) I know he would smile about it....he would be happy for all of us-that our lives have gone on and his legacy of "family" never dies. Isn't it beautiful to know that family is not just about genetics...my life, comparatively, would be very empty if it were. I'm thankful for understanding that relationships are the main thing...they are what matters. How many "family" members do you have? Praise God, I can say that I have MANY and my cup runneth over. Oh, this great thing we call, "family". Thank you God for providing me with the opportunity to have healthy loving relationships with so many others that even though my genetic family may forsake me, my "real" family never will.
Extend this idea to the idea of "family" and what that means. When someone asks me who my family is, I can tell them about my "physical" blood related family-whether we are talking my childhood relations or my "nuclear" adult family relations. I can also choose to tell them about my "spiritual" family-which I am related to through the blood of Jesus Christ. We are "born" of the same Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I could also choose to tell them of dear friends that I've been blessed to meet/know/spend time with along life's journey wherever the AF took us for 27 1/2 years. You see, regardless of the origin of the family I may talk with you about-there are characteristics that make them the same. Truly, "physical" blood relation means little to me. At one time in the history of God's people, this was a very important trait-but Jesus came and done away with all of that-adopting ALL that obey Him into His bloodline today. Therefore, my physical origins, alone, are of little meaning to me. It's the "relationships" that happen within the physical origins that make them important and have meaning. Without the relationship, WHAT does blood mean???? This is true whether we are talking about physical or spiritual relatives...blood without relationship means nothing! I realize that everyone has different experiences in life-some never "leave" the area they are born/raised in...whether by choice or necessity. They remain in the same area where the relationships with physical blood relatives are and may have very little opportunity to have any "other" type of family relationship. However, even in those instances-it truly is a "choice" that one makes. Just because you are raised in a particular physical family situation, does not mean you have to remain "active" and engaged in it if the relationships are not present or are unhealthy. You CAN choose to "find" family elsewhere...those that will love you, spend time with you, make time for you, think the best of you, come to you when they hear something questionable about you, etc... The bible speaks to this idea many times-particularly with regards to the "company" we keep-"evil companions corrupt good morals"...yes, sometimes that even refers to our physical families. Sad, but true.
Never has the idea of "family" been more true to me than in recent months. You see, I now have lost both of my parents. If I were a person that saw family as "only"physical relationships, I would be very lost in this world-a wandering "orphan" as it were. Yes, I have siblings-but the relationships are complicated for a variety of reasons...some of which can be changed, some that cannot. Do I love my siblings?...absolutely. I care for their well-being, do my best to make sure they're cared for, and pray the best for them all. However, the "relationships" we share are weak at best. With one bright shining exception-my sister-my ONLY sister. It should be noted here that this sister is NO blood relation to me whatsoever! We do not share the same genetics at ALL. We don't even share "childhood" experiences. I am the age of her biological mother. My husband/I have chosen to live in the same community as my sister/her family. You may wonder WHAT is it that makes this sister so different if we don't share any of the factors I mentioned...simply put..."relationship". We understand one another, we MAKE time for one another, we are interested in one another's well being, we both feel the "loss" of our parents...it doesn't matter if the parents were HER blood or not...they were the parents of her heart-just as they were mine! The loss is great, it's significant, it's painful, it's hurtful...but praise God it's also a beautiful reminder of how blessed we were to have OUR parents in our lives. Even at different times/stages of our parents lives and even though we weren't raised together-we both feel incredibly blessed by the "experiences" and "relationships" that we were blessed to share with our parents. Despite the lack of depth in relationship with the other siblings...we "get it" and we "relate" to one another. I feel incredibly blessed when I look at the timing of all the things that have occurred in my life/my sister's life...both things we have shared together and things we've experienced, separately, in our individual lives. I see God's hand leading us to where we are today. Together, living in the same town, having developed a loving relationship and "invested" in one another through the last 17 years that we've been in one another's lives. Now, we continue to reap our harvest on a regular basis through meals together, playing family games, enjoying holidays, sharing ideas, thoughts, etc... I'm so thankful that "family" means more than genetics.
Over 27 1/2 years of being a military spouse, I definitely learned to appreciate "spiritual" family most of all. They were the ones that were "in" my life day in/day out. I wasn't able to be "present" for most of my physical family members events-it just was not physically possible. This is why my spiritual family became so VERY important to me. They were my "support" system day in/out. They were who we spent holidays with, camped with, cried with, prayed with, worshipped with....just did "day to day" life with. I am blessed to say that even in retirement, we have an amazing spiritual family that we "do live with" here in our community. Even though my husband/I are physically separated from our girls at this point in our lives-we are ALL 4 blessed to have "family" in the respective places that we currently live. We all appreciate the "family" that is there for us-day in/day out. We are not "jealous" of the family that we "share" our girls with...we are happy for them and pleased that others are being blessed to enjoy our girls as much as we did. I feel blessed to know that even when others in my family of origin didn't understand/appreciate that I had "family" in the place I was living at the time-my Daddy always did. That's one of the things I miss the most-his loving support and encouragement to enjoy my time wherever I was living, experience as much as I could, etc... He understood that I had my life to lead and that it was "different" than the life he had chosen. He supported me and always asked me lots of great questions about the "family" where we were living. He was not "jealous" that my girls had "grandparents" in Arizona. He knew about Donna/Bruce and was happy that the girls had them in their lives. Of course he would have LOVED to have been able to be that grandparent for them-but time/distance/his health did not allow for that and he "loved" my girls, therefore, he wanted the best for them whatever their situation was in life. You see, my Daddy understood "blood" didn't matter...relationships did! I have my Daddy to "thank" for that belief system that I hold so dear to my heart today. You see, my Daddy only actually "fathered" one child, but he was a Daddy to 7 children that he "chose". He didn't "legally" adopt 2 of them...but he would tell you that they were HIS kids...he was THEIR Daddy...all 7 of them! That's how I feel about my nieces. I feel like a grandmother...not an "aunt". The relationship is indicative of a grandparent-they call me aunt Vicki, but I love them as though their mother came from me because the "relationship" that my sister/I share is very mother/daughter like. Perhaps it's the age difference. Perhaps it's the fact that we lost Mom when she was still a teenager. Whatever it is...it's good and healthy-one that I'm thankful for each and every day. Daddy lives on...through me and all that he taught me about what "family" means through his own example/life. I am treasuring each and every moment with his grandchildren-who are now MY grandchildren:) Donna/Bruce are treasuring each/every moment with his grandchildren-who are now THEIR grandchildren:) I know he would smile about it....he would be happy for all of us-that our lives have gone on and his legacy of "family" never dies. Isn't it beautiful to know that family is not just about genetics...my life, comparatively, would be very empty if it were. I'm thankful for understanding that relationships are the main thing...they are what matters. How many "family" members do you have? Praise God, I can say that I have MANY and my cup runneth over. Oh, this great thing we call, "family". Thank you God for providing me with the opportunity to have healthy loving relationships with so many others that even though my genetic family may forsake me, my "real" family never will.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
WHAT IS LOVE?
The above question brings up many feelings and emotions in many people. This being the month of "love", I thought I might explore this question with my readers. The simplest definition I can give for love, is God. Very simply put, the Creator of all the universe-each and every human being as well as the stars, etc...He is the author of love because He is LOVE. His holy word says so-so I believe that to be true.
This brings me to the next obvious question-what, specifically, can we know/read about God (through His own word) that can give us a deeper description/example of love through knowing Him-the author/Creator of love? We can know that we all have the ability to love, it is God given. However, so is free will. We "choose" whether we want to love someone or whether we are willing to invest in the process of learning to love. Being created in the image of God-we can know that we are capable of loving others.
Is love always easy...absolutely not. As a matter of fact-God proves over and again that love can be very difficult and bring a lot of pain. Things that we do not care about do not cause us pain-only things that mean something to us can cause us pain. God demonstrated His love to us in sending His only Son to a cruel death on the cross on our behalf. This was an extremely painful moment to God. WHY? Because He loves us! Not only did He love His Son, but He loved us enough to sacrifice His Son on our behalf. No, love is not always easy-sometimes it even brings great sacrifice-in Christ's case-His death.
How do we know when we love someone? When we are willing to do the "hard" thing-the thing that is selfless and considers another's well being over our own. In I Corinthians 13 we are reminded that love requires a lot of things. Love "expects the best". So, if I truly love someone, I will expect the best of them. This means that I will go to them, individually, and talk with them when "something doesn't seem to add up" in our minds with what we believe/understand to be that person's character. Love does not mean being stupid and naive...it means being aware of a person's character when they, generally, are a particular way and we see something "different" in them that doesn't seem to add up to the fruits that they normally bear (you shall know them by their fruits). Love "does not keep account" of a wrong suffered. If I truly love someone, I will do my best to remember that we are ALL sinners and fall short of the glory of God. I will give that person, mercy and grace, remembering that I, too, may need the same in the future. Again, it doesn't mean we must be foolish in our decisions to "trust" others. If a person has proved himself untrustworthy-they need to know that there is a consequence for their action even if I "forgive" them and continue to love them. Love is kind...whoa, couldn't we use more of that in our world. Genuine caring for others that doesn't malign, slander, gossip...instead goes directly to a person, and that person alone, with a concern/question in a humble/kind manner instead of demanding/hateful/malicious manner-this is the instructions that Jesus gave His followers in Matthew 18. Love is not envious or jealous. Do you find it possible to be happy for others when they receive some gift, kindness, goodness and you do not? Or do you find yourself jealous that your life isn't as calm/peaceful and well balanced as someone else? These are all of the types of questions we need to ask ourselves from time to time. This is the way we discover if we are growing envious/jealous. Jealousy can eat you from the inside out. True love is grateful/thankful/joyful when others experience blessings in their lives. Even if we would like our own circumstances to be different, we can still learn to rejoice with those that rejoice and not grow envious/jealous. Love is patient-aren't we glad that's true! God demonstrates GREAT patience and longsuffering with us each and every day simply by not coming to destroy the entire world that is sin ridden. Instead, His desire is that no one will perish and He waits-patiently-though the world maligns/blasphemes His name. Love is not rude. Being rude comes in all forms/fashions and varies in different cultures/circumstances. Sometimes it is impossible to know what may be considered "rude" in particular situations, because in other places it is actually considered a compliment. A "small" example would be that in America, we consider it "rude" to belch at the table. In many other countries it is actually considered a sign of great hospitality/appreciation for a good meal. So, we need to be aware of/willing to learn about different places we may go/visit and confess to others when we didn't realize we were engaging in a particular oversight/rude behavior because this is not a "universal" understanding..it varies from location to location. This is where some of the other qualities of love come into play. If we feel that someone has been rude because of the norms in our particular location-we need to show love to them and go to them, kindly, and explain the concern/way things are done in a particular location. Real love would not go and talk about them behind their backs-instead it would go to them-kindly-to talk with them about it. Love also does not insist in having its own way. Just because we may feel entitled to something, does not make it so. Real love would respect the wishes of the person giving the entitlement to whomever they choose-not insist on having it their own way. Love doesn't rejoice in injustice/unrighteousness. No matter the circumstance-we must always remember to stand up for/do the right things while never finding "joy" in another's undeserved downfall (injustice). Love bears up under everything-it does whatever needs to be done and remains steady in the storm. Love endures everything and remains very strong-determined to not allow others/any circumstance to take away the joy.
Truly loving others is the most difficult thing we will ever do. This is why God is the definition of love. God is love. He is ALL of the above things in ALL circumstances-always has been/always will be. He is the perfect One, the One we should strive to imitate in our own lives each and every day. Sometimes we fail at loving the way that we should-this is why we are in need of a Savior. The Savior, Jesus Christ, to bridge the gap-the PERFECT one to bridge the gap between our weakness and God's strength. One that will bring us back into relationship with God-the God who loves us, the God who created us, the One and Only Jehovah God-that is the definition of love. Something to think about today.
This brings me to the next obvious question-what, specifically, can we know/read about God (through His own word) that can give us a deeper description/example of love through knowing Him-the author/Creator of love? We can know that we all have the ability to love, it is God given. However, so is free will. We "choose" whether we want to love someone or whether we are willing to invest in the process of learning to love. Being created in the image of God-we can know that we are capable of loving others.
Is love always easy...absolutely not. As a matter of fact-God proves over and again that love can be very difficult and bring a lot of pain. Things that we do not care about do not cause us pain-only things that mean something to us can cause us pain. God demonstrated His love to us in sending His only Son to a cruel death on the cross on our behalf. This was an extremely painful moment to God. WHY? Because He loves us! Not only did He love His Son, but He loved us enough to sacrifice His Son on our behalf. No, love is not always easy-sometimes it even brings great sacrifice-in Christ's case-His death.
How do we know when we love someone? When we are willing to do the "hard" thing-the thing that is selfless and considers another's well being over our own. In I Corinthians 13 we are reminded that love requires a lot of things. Love "expects the best". So, if I truly love someone, I will expect the best of them. This means that I will go to them, individually, and talk with them when "something doesn't seem to add up" in our minds with what we believe/understand to be that person's character. Love does not mean being stupid and naive...it means being aware of a person's character when they, generally, are a particular way and we see something "different" in them that doesn't seem to add up to the fruits that they normally bear (you shall know them by their fruits). Love "does not keep account" of a wrong suffered. If I truly love someone, I will do my best to remember that we are ALL sinners and fall short of the glory of God. I will give that person, mercy and grace, remembering that I, too, may need the same in the future. Again, it doesn't mean we must be foolish in our decisions to "trust" others. If a person has proved himself untrustworthy-they need to know that there is a consequence for their action even if I "forgive" them and continue to love them. Love is kind...whoa, couldn't we use more of that in our world. Genuine caring for others that doesn't malign, slander, gossip...instead goes directly to a person, and that person alone, with a concern/question in a humble/kind manner instead of demanding/hateful/malicious manner-this is the instructions that Jesus gave His followers in Matthew 18. Love is not envious or jealous. Do you find it possible to be happy for others when they receive some gift, kindness, goodness and you do not? Or do you find yourself jealous that your life isn't as calm/peaceful and well balanced as someone else? These are all of the types of questions we need to ask ourselves from time to time. This is the way we discover if we are growing envious/jealous. Jealousy can eat you from the inside out. True love is grateful/thankful/joyful when others experience blessings in their lives. Even if we would like our own circumstances to be different, we can still learn to rejoice with those that rejoice and not grow envious/jealous. Love is patient-aren't we glad that's true! God demonstrates GREAT patience and longsuffering with us each and every day simply by not coming to destroy the entire world that is sin ridden. Instead, His desire is that no one will perish and He waits-patiently-though the world maligns/blasphemes His name. Love is not rude. Being rude comes in all forms/fashions and varies in different cultures/circumstances. Sometimes it is impossible to know what may be considered "rude" in particular situations, because in other places it is actually considered a compliment. A "small" example would be that in America, we consider it "rude" to belch at the table. In many other countries it is actually considered a sign of great hospitality/appreciation for a good meal. So, we need to be aware of/willing to learn about different places we may go/visit and confess to others when we didn't realize we were engaging in a particular oversight/rude behavior because this is not a "universal" understanding..it varies from location to location. This is where some of the other qualities of love come into play. If we feel that someone has been rude because of the norms in our particular location-we need to show love to them and go to them, kindly, and explain the concern/way things are done in a particular location. Real love would not go and talk about them behind their backs-instead it would go to them-kindly-to talk with them about it. Love also does not insist in having its own way. Just because we may feel entitled to something, does not make it so. Real love would respect the wishes of the person giving the entitlement to whomever they choose-not insist on having it their own way. Love doesn't rejoice in injustice/unrighteousness. No matter the circumstance-we must always remember to stand up for/do the right things while never finding "joy" in another's undeserved downfall (injustice). Love bears up under everything-it does whatever needs to be done and remains steady in the storm. Love endures everything and remains very strong-determined to not allow others/any circumstance to take away the joy.
Truly loving others is the most difficult thing we will ever do. This is why God is the definition of love. God is love. He is ALL of the above things in ALL circumstances-always has been/always will be. He is the perfect One, the One we should strive to imitate in our own lives each and every day. Sometimes we fail at loving the way that we should-this is why we are in need of a Savior. The Savior, Jesus Christ, to bridge the gap-the PERFECT one to bridge the gap between our weakness and God's strength. One that will bring us back into relationship with God-the God who loves us, the God who created us, the One and Only Jehovah God-that is the definition of love. Something to think about today.
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